Love Doesn't Exist || H.S

chapter forty-five

Emily

I walked down the stairs, my eyes never leaving him. He hadn't spotted me yet and instead lent against the side of the counter, eyes flickering over all the people in the cafe.

I made it to my last step after what felt like years of walking down them, and Harry finally noticed me. His eyes raked up and down my body and he stood up straighter. I stopped after taking two steps away from the foot of the stairs. Harry took one step forward but the distance between us still felt unbearable.

"Hi" He breathed out, running his hands over his black skinny jeans to wipe away, I'm guessing, sweat.

"Hey" I said. Not wanting to have this conversation in a room filled with people, I went to ask him to come upstairs, but he spoke first. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I said" Harry took two long strides towards me, obviously not liking the distance either. "I didn't think anything through and it was dumb and... I'm an idiot. I'm sorry that our goodbye ended like that and that I thought running away would be the answer. I'm just- I'm just sorry"

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't expecting Harry to even show up at all, but now that he was here and he finally understood that moving in with him wouldn't work... I felt like a weight had been lifted.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I reached forward, wrapping my arms around his torso instead. Harry seemed surprised by the contact but he was quick to wrap his arms around me as well.

"I'm guessing this is you telling me you'll move in with me?" Harry chuckled.

"What?!" I took as step back and Harry looked at me confusedly.

"You're moving in with me?" Harry asked, confusion still evident in his voice and on his face.

"No Harry!" I said, my voice louder then needed and grabbing the attention of a few customers. "I'm not moving in with you. You just apologized for something you're doing not even two seconds later. I'm not moving in with you" I said, lowering my voice.

"Why not? You never gave me a good reason as to why-"

"Never gave you a good reason?!" I shouted. The cafe went quiet and I heard the apartment door open, signalling to me Molly and Niall could hear from upstairs. "So my family, this cafe... neither of those are a good enough reason to not move in with you" I said rhetorically. 

"I'll pay for your family to live in London too" Harry said, his eyebrows forming a deep V as I shook my head. "I'll pay for another cafe that you can open up in London as well. I'll-"

"I don't want you money" I said. I hated what I was having to say. "This has been my dream. Opening up a cafe and working for it with Molly by ourselves, has been my dream. I wanted to do this on my own and I still do" I said.

"But it doesn't matter? It's just money and I have more then I need" Harry replied, causing me to shake my head again because he just wasn't understanding.

"I'm not moving to London. I don't- it's never going to work Harry" I said, getting exhausted from trying to make him understand. He didn't say anything and instead stood their, his eyes only trained on me as the cafe stayed quiet.

"So this is how it's going to end?" Harry asked finally.

"End? Harry I'm not ending things" I said, my voice now quieter then before.

"Well what if I am?" Harry croaked causing my breath to hitch.

I looked at him, not believing or even understanding what was happening... what was about to happen. Harry wanted to end things, because I couldn't live with him. Everything that had happened between us, everything that happened before we were together... it was just going to end? 

"You're going to end this? Us?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"I don't want to Em" Harry said. "But I can't spend the rest of my life, wondering if I'll ever be able to wake up to you every day. Wondering if you really love me as much as I do to you. I don't want to be the only one trying to make this relationship work" 

"You're not the only one trying. I do love you and..." I took a step forward, reaching my hand out to grab his, but he stepped back, snatching his hand away from mine.

"Don't" 

"Harry-" I covered my mouth, fighting back the tears as he looked at me with a pained expression. "Please Harry" I begged. I don't know what I was begging for. For this to not end, for him to not leave, for him to understand... all of the above.

"Why don't you understand Em. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to spend every day with you" Harry choked.

"I do understand" I cried out. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you as well. I want to go to sleep with you and wake up with you as well-"

"Then why are you saying no?" Harry breathed out. "Move to London with me, please baby. Then you will be able to spend every day with me. We'll both be able to go to sleep and wake up together" 

"You don't understand Harry" I cried. "I have a life here. I can't just pack up my things and move away for you" Hurt flashed through Harry's eyes at my words. His eyes flickered in between my own before he held up his right hand.

"What happened to this huh?" He choked, his voice cracking. "Anything for you? Was it all a lie?" I was sobbing uncontrollably now, tears falling freely and rolling down my cheek one after the other.

"You know this is different"

"Bullshit Emily" Harry said coldly. I went to open my mouth, but the only thing that came out was a strangled sob. Harry kept his eyes fixed on me, hurt, anger and sadness flashing in both of them. 

He let out a scoff, eyes flickering in between my own one more time, before he turned around, walking away.

"Where are you going?" I sobbed, catching up to him and trying to grab his hand.

"Home" Harry replied, snatching his hand away from mine as he stepped out of the cafe. 

"So it's really over?" I asked, stepping outside behind him. Harry turned to face me, his hand on the taxi's door handle.

"Are you going to come?" Harry asked, his own eyes welled up with tears. There were multiple people walking in between us, oblivious to what was going on, but Harry's eyes still managed to stay on mine.

I stayed quiet, not knowing what to do. I didn't want this to end. That was the last thing I would ever want happening. So I was tempted to go. I was tempted to just leave and get in the taxi with him. But I remembered my family and I remembered everything I'd worked for.

"I can't" I shook my head and my fingers reached down for my ring. My ring.

"Then yes, it's really over" Harry replied coldly before opening the taxi door.

"Do you want it back?" I asked quickly, slipping off my ring as tears continued to stream down my cheeks. Harry's eyes flickered down to my hands that held out the ring for him to take and it felt like I was waiting an eternity for him to answer.

"I could never take that back" Harry replied, his own voice cracking as a tear rolled down his cheek. Before I could say another word, he had gotten inside the taxi, slamming the door shut behind him. I stood there, watching as the taxi drove away and out onto the busy road of Ireland as I collapsed onto the ground, sobbing uncontrollably and earning looks from those passing. 

Someone was at my side, cradling me on the ground with them. But I had no energy to look up at who it was. There were only three words replaying in my head, 'it's really over'.

So, I think we're nearing the end.