𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐚𝐤𝐞. eren jaeger

viii

HERE YOU WERE NOW, inside your apartment, with a guest. he was the least you wanted to see in a day, or maybe even in forever. he caused you so much pain and made you feel neglected. though in the past, you'd convince yourself that it was nothing more than you merely overthinking stuff. you were much happier now that you were free from the cage he has kept you in years back. but, now that he's here, sitting across you in your dining table, you felt like those free wings of yours were starting to feel trapped once again.

"what do you mean?" you nonchalantly asked the blonde as his gray eyes locked with yours.

"i've changed, y/n. all those wrongdoings i've done upon you ー upon us ー they've faded. would you still give me one last chance?" he pleaded, hoping that you were still the same girl he was with a long time ago. the girl who was gullible and blind due to love.

you scoffed, "the last time i did, it didn't end very well, zeke. i was put through hell and i never ever would want to experience it all over again," you replied whilst standing up from your chair and walked towards the door.

"now, could you leave?" you retorted with the door wide open, your hand gesturing for him to walk out of your apartment.

it was honestly ironic how you said and swore to yourself that you wouldn't ever fall in love again after your first, considering that love was just like playing with fire. it was dangerous, intoxicating, blinding. it has two sides, but only the lucky ones get to hop on cloud 9 while the rest end up with the latter. it was scary how one emotion, a could person could feel, would either make them or break them in the most drastic ways. those unlucky ones end up blaming themselves for whatever wrong turn that happens and would even reach to the point of self-harm. and you, somehow, just had to be a victim of love. if it wasn't for hange living with you for a few months until you've recovered, you could've not spared yourselves with whatever cut you wished to bestow upon your arms and legs.

however, years later after the break up, zeke jaeger just had to show up one afternoon when you were asked by armin to do an errand. you've built connections with this man as he showed you what it felt like to be loved and to be appreciated ー the two things you craved for in your first relationship. he knew your secrets after you decided to open up to him since you definitely saw a difference in the blonde male than compared to your first, floch forster. he proved to you that not all men were the same and boy, was he persistent. and that's how he successfully broke down the walls you've built around your heart and be with this man.

the first few months of the relationship was really amazing. you felt genuinely happier than the other days of your life since he spoiled you with gifts, his affection, and his time. you couldn't ask for more as everything that you ever wanted, he was able to give you. you were a simple woman after all. with just time and affection, you were contented. it was smooth sailing at first but, in the blink of an eye, you have reached rock bottom. how? where did we go wrong? where did i go wrong? wasn't i enough?