𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐚𝐤𝐞. eren jaeger

xxxi

SUNDAY HAD ROLLED TOO soon than to your liking as you were now inside the church, walking up front to the lectern. relatives and the like of the deceased were given the time to say whatever they wanted to say as tears had already cascaded down your cheeks, non-stop, and you haven't even started yet.

resting your hands on the lectern as you had adjusted the mic so it was levelled with your mouth, your mind was all over the place, the suffocating feeling of pain piercing through your heart.

and so, you took a deep breath before starting. "she was a good friend who never failed to uplift people's spirits," you continued, trying your very best to not choke on your sobs as pairs of eyes have watched you from their seats. "she helped me with almost everything a-and it's funny how she knew more about myself than i personally do," you added as your fingers were now busy wiping away the tears that strayed from your eyes whilst attempting to chuckle softly.

"she was a crazy yet careful woman and i b-believe that, that is even an understatement of w-what kind of person she actually w-was," ー you paused, taking a deep breath ー "s-she led people with compassion, truly showing that she is a leader ー a natural born leader."

"there may have been t-times when i'd see her b-breakdown, but when she sees me, she acts just as if nothing w-was bringing her down," you paused, now a sobbing mess in front of every person right now inside the church. "she was a sister i n-never had. hange had always had m-my back whenever and t-the fact that she was willing to d-do everything in her power to help me ー m-much more save me ー i-it makes it a lot, lot, lot harder to let her go a-and accept t-this."

"i know that death is an i-inevitability, but w-why was she taken away from me ー from us ー far t-too soon? i-isn't it not fair?" you spoke, voice cracking ever so often as millions of memories with the brunette you cared for had kept flooding your mind.

"our study d-dates, jamming sessions, gi-giving of advices because i was a d-dumb hoe" ー you paused, eyes widening in realisation that you had just spoken such a word inside the church ー "ah, i-i'm sorry. what i meant was that sh-she never had missed a day of checking up on me ー on m-my being ー and i can't even remember j-just how many t-times i returned the favor."

"she was one of the f-few people who r-really cared for me since she k-knew of what i had gone through in the p-past. my m-mental health years ago wasn't that s-stable and w-when hange knew about this, she decided to live with me for a-almost a year? to h-help me stabilise it."

wishing to continue, you heaved a deep sigh, trying to put up a small smile on your face. "hange, thank you f-for everything ー for being a sister and a bully t-to me. thank you for always b-being there for me when no one was; for putting up with all the d-dumb stuff i do."

"thank you for b-being my go-to person whenever a-and wherever and trust me, i j-just can't thank you enough," you added, painfully smiling like an idiot as your e/c hues were fixated on her casket this time.