Kiss like Thunder & Ice | Jikook |

16. Purple Rain

Jimin

I cried.

It's nothing new, that the flood of emotions overwhelmed me again and I broke down on the floor and sobbed for more then an hour.

What caused it this time? I didn't know myself. Maybe the mixture of all what happend the past days.

The mean Lady, who said I should surch for an other profession because my work on the cake she ordered was like a painting from her 7 years old son.
Or the call from my mother that teared another painful wound in my heart. But what brought me to the edge, was the feeling of being just a part of a thing, no more, no less and the boy I like treated me like the person, whom I hated the most.

But I couldn't blame Jungkook for my miserable state. I used him for my satisfaction and wanted to be used from him. And now I barely could sit down because of my sore butt and couldn't face him either, because of my reaction after our session.

It was unfair to feel hurt because of him, I knew it.
He crossed a line, that was thinner than paper and I didn't stop him in that moment either.
But at the end it was his dissision to went that hard on me and didn't waste a thought of my state.

I had to admit, it was my fault after all.
Not only in this case, but in the fact that my heart was aching when I was thinking about him and my mind was craving for his touch. And not only for the way he pleasured me with the whip, it was also the soft and endearing way he treated me in the middle of our sessions.

We didn't put a label on this "thing", how he used to call it, but it started to feel different. It was more than messing around with each other, so I thought.

The way he was looking at me was compared with the way the guys in Dramas were looking at the girls, they were about to fall in love with. And the way he got all shy, when I provoked him with my nakedness and I already saw and felt his hard reaction in his pents.

It all seemed that we both met on one wavelength and the longing grew in me to swim with him through the stormy ocean.

But at the sad end, it was just a stupid desire and the untold truth, that I will never be a part of his life. Not with my past and my reputation.
How would the world react when the sunny boy of the campus would date the wired guy with the black hood?

I knew exactly the answer.

I skipped the University for a few days and swapped my shift with my Co-worker at the Coffeeshop. I went in the early morning hours out of the house and completed all the cake orders until opening time, so that I couldn't meet anyone, except of the few employees of the Coffeeshop.
The rest of my days I spent with online art workshops and studying.
To hold my grade was the most important for my scholarship and the coming internship in the company in a few weeks.

I prepared myself a quick meal after my one and a half hour workout session, as the bell rang and I run to the door.

"Park Jimin?" A jung delivery man asked not caring to look ab.
As I validated quietly, he gave me the hand scanner to sign it up and handed me a package.

I was confused about the fact, that it hadn't a sender name on it and first hesitated, but at the end got too curious and ripped the tape off.

There was lying a fresh sprig of lavender and a note in it. While taking in the delicate scent of the blossom I read the note.

"The scent is ephemeral like a whisper blown by the wind.
Please forgive me and let us leave it behind."

J.JK