Paranoia - s.reid

French High Schooler

(There is going to be French and the tiniest bit of Italian dialogue in this chapter. The dialogue is google translated because I haven't studied the languages nearly enough to be fluent, so please point out mistakes for me to fix! Translations to English will be in brackets. This is also possibly the worst chapter I've ever written, sorry.)

Minutes later, Liz found herself at the doorstep of Aaron Hotchner.

She pounded her knuckles on the hard wood of the door, her stomach churning when she heard soft noises from the other side. 

The door opened, making Liz jump at the sudden movement. Aaron looked at her, eyebrows furrowed as his eyes traveled down to the engagement ring that Liz's fingers fiddled with. "What's up?" She looked down, mostly in shame. 

How could she go to another man's doorstep while her fiance, or she thought he was still her fiance, sat in their apartment, alone? She wasn't here to do anything, even if she did do anything, how could Spencer wrong her? He'd gone on a date with JJ and kissed Lila while they were together, but she didn't want revenge. She didn't believe in revenge when it came to relationships. "Spencer and I, we, uh, we fought."  Aaron nodded, opening the door wider and inviting her inside. "I'm sorry about the divorce, by the way."

"It's okay. Do you need anything to drink?" Liz shook her head, sitting next to him on the sofa. There was so much distance between them and Aaron couldn't stand it, so he shifted closer to her. "What was the fight about, if you don't mind me asking?"

She chuckled dryly. "It was about knowing each other, how he thinks he doesn't know nearly enough about me when really he knows every single thing about my present self, not my past self. If it needs to come up, then it comes up, those are the rules I live by." He nodded. 

Minutes of silence passed. "Elizabeth, why are you here? Wouldn't you rather go to Prentiss?"

"I don't know why I'm here, Ronnie." There it was. That stupid nickname that made his brain go fuzzy and his knees turn weak. He decided to take a plunge. He took her hand, wrapping it in his and holding on. She didn't pull away, instead, she gripped on tighter. "You really love me?" Her voice wavered, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, I do." He replied, his gaze shifting to the coffee table before them. "But I can't have you." She lifted her head up, their eyes finally met.

"Have me for one night." 

Aaron narrowed his eyes. This wasn't a good idea. She was hurting, and engaged! She was still engaged! "I can't. You're hurting."

"And you've been hurting too. So have me for one night, pretend I'm yours. It's okay." Liz smiled softly.

"But you'll be gone in the morning."

"Does that matter now?"

Time went slowly when they reached his bedroom. She made sure to place the engagement ring on the coffee table beforehand.

Liz noticed how Aaron wasn't anything like Spencer, obviously. 

She found herself often comparing the two men. She found herself constantly thinking about her fiance. The gap on her finger. In only five months, the meaning behind that ring had become her whole world and she was throwing it away, leaving it on a coffee table in another man's house.

The emerald cut diamond was tangible evidence that Spencer loved her. The rose gold band meant that he was ready to love her for the rest of their lives. She had failed the love of her life, and she wasn't sure if she could ever have him back. 

Liz mind swirled with thoughts corrupted by Spencer Reid. The smile that she greeted every morning she woke up. The way he held her, she loved the way his arms wrapped around her perfectly. She loved having to stand up on her toes to just barely reach his hair. His touches, how even at work he always kept a hand on her back or around her waist, just to tell her he was there for her. His kisses always lingered, she didn't need an eidetic memory to memorize the feeling of his lips on any part of her. Liz loved how Spencer Reid was able to make Monopoly meaningful. How over time, it'd been their way of telling each other they were okay. She didn't know if they'd ever play Monopoly again.