Former Teacher

31

Today is July 29th, and I haven't been dreading this day. My family is going to do our regular plans which consist of cooking my brother's favorite meal and eating it at his grave while also enjoying his favorite dessert that we baked, and to sum things up we will look back at old pictures. We first are stopping by the flower shop to bring him flowers. Dalton is coming with me to be my support. I told him he didn't have to bother, but he didn't listen. As I look back each year, it gets easier. I am not sure about my parents because that was their firstborn son, but I don't cry that often when Daniel comes to mind. Anyways Dalton is meeting us at the cemetery at four. We are going to have an early dinner.

Once it's time, I get in the back seat, and the car's air fills with my mom's cooking that is already placed on the floor behind the driver's seat. Next to me is paper plates, plastic silverware, napkins, and water bottles. At the flower shop, I picked out a red, white, and blue bouquet. My mom always allows me to pick the flowers out.

We drove around the rocky dirt road looking for his segment of land. It's strange to say, but I have always liked the sensation of being at a cemetery. It's unexplainable. We unpack the car and head for his plot where are also the other fallen soldiers are buried. I bought extra flowers with my own money to put a single rose on some of the other headstones.

I look over to see Dalton's dad's car. Dalton is still working on buying a nice car. I get up off the ground and walk over to him.

"Hey, here is your very first sweatshirt from me. Sorry, It took long. I wanted to wear it for a little bit so you can feel me with you." He says, handing me the stylish sweatshirt.

I bring him close and hug him. "No worries." I put on the graphic grey and black sweatshirt in front of him.

"Looks better on you." He says, kissing me on the cheek. "I hope it's the only sweatshirt you put on from a guy." He says, laughing.

I laugh. "Haha yeah," I say, spotting Lucas in front of me.

"Oh, I still have that sweatshirt you lent me. I have been wearing it frequently because it reminds me of you. When do you want it back." He questions.

"Doesn't matter. Ugh, I'm so glad I finally got this!" I say, hugging myself in his hoodie.

Lucas rolls his eyes behind Dalton's back and walks past us. It doesn't surprise that he is here. I should stop expecting or worrying about if he shows or not. Dalton and I walk to the blanket that is spread out on the grass next to Daniel's headstone. We have my mom's famous meatloaf with mashed potatoes and corn and for dessert is her strawberry cheesecake. We talk, enjoying our food. I hardly ate the course of the meal because I wanted to save room for the cheesecake. My mom gives me two pieces because she knows I love it and one for Daniel. It's to keep his spirit alive. At dinner, we usually keep an empty plate for him. It helps my mom to cope.

The sun is setting, and time is passing. It was time for us to pack up. Dalton had to leave in a rush, so it's okay because there is a small mess that doesn't take multiple people to clean. I wave Dalton goodbye and get back to helping my parents.

"So when am I getting my sweatshirt back?" Lucas comes out of nowhere and walks beside me.

I stop. "You gave it to me. Why are you asking for it back?"

"Well, I don't like it on another guy, especially your boyfriend wearing the clothes that I gave to YOU to wear. If you didn't want it, you could have just given it back."

"Okay, chill. I will get it back tonight and bring it to your house."

"Good, I will be waiting."

"K," I say, walking back to the blanket.

"Need help cleaning up?" He shouts from the same spot I left him.

"Nope!'

It's 9 pm, and I got back Lucas's sweatshirt. Dalton didn't ask any questions when I picked it up at his house. He is still at his errand and told me where he left it in his room. I arrive at Lucas's house with a box sitting next to me in the car with everything he gave me. Literally everything. I am done reminiscing about him when I have a wonderful boyfriend in front of me. I carry the box up to the porch. I ring the doorbell and wait for him to open the door.

He opens the door, and his eyes when straight to the brown box. "What's the box for? I asked for the sweatshirt."

I walk in, setting the box on the couch in the living room. "Go ahead and look," I say, backing away from the couch.

He opens the flaps on the box and lowers down his head, backing away from the box. "You don't love me no more... Then fine. Get out."

"Lucas I do..."

He looks up. "Tell me why you love me because of the way you are showing it is shitty."

"I love you because you make me happy when nobody else can."

"And Dalton? What about him?"

"You make me a diverse kind of happy. You deliver me butterflies every single time I see or hear about you. Even your voice gives me butterflies. I love you, and only you, but a small side of me still loves Dalton."

"Explain to me why you are with him and not me? You are nearly 18 and couldn't wait any longer? I am not your teacher anymore. I have been waiting for you, Bell. I haven't hooked up with any other girl, and I don't want to. I was waiting for you!"

"I-I don't know, okay!"

"You are so unbelievable. I was a fool to think we had something. It's sad that you have to play two guys to gain your happiness."

I reach for his arm, but he pulls away. "Lucas..." I lower the tone in my voice to regret.

"Bella, get out. Come back when your mind is set on who you want to be with."

I look down and pause. I look back up at him. "My mind is set..."

"No, it's not. Give it a week and then speak to me."

"Okay..." I say, walking out of his house confused and lost.