THE DEVIL'S AFFECTION

11. DEVILISH DESSERT

"Is that really what you think of this situation?"

"As shit?"

"Yeah," he folds his hands as he sits with his elbows propped on the table.

He doesn't seem angry or upset anymore. He seems curious but not concerned. He wants to know why, but doesn't care about my answer.

"My life... is shit. This job is an aspect of my life that, I'm not gonna lie, helps to make it so shit." I admit.

He sits back, puzzled by my response. I know what he'll say. How could a girl hate having everything paid for? How could a girl hate new clothes and fancy hotels? How could a girl resist my money? It's not even like they would be actual questions of his. No. It's me that's the problem. I'm the one who's delusional.

But he knows nothing of what it feels like to feel like you belong to someone; to feel as though your life lacks purpose to anyone else. He doesn't know what it's like to feel trapped — not like this. That's why none of those things matter. Until I have my freedom, nothing matters.

"Because you feel trapped?" He asks.

Suddenly, the air in my chest feels thin. He didn't say what I expected him to. He questioned the truth.

"Um-uh, yeah. If I don't have my freedom, then what do I have?"

"Nothing is keeping you here." He opens his hands as if to present that, in fact, nothing is physically restraining me.

"You see, that's where your privilege blinds you. I can't survive away from you. I basically belong to you, even if you say I don't. It's not like I can walk away, can I?"

Then his face changes. Now it resembles something a little more questioning.

"Here is the duck breast." The waitress mentions as she pops in with our food.

I nearly forgot we were about to have a meal. She came out of nowhere too.

"Thank you," he looks down at the table as he speaks while she finishes setting everything up.

She smiles sweetly, seeming glad for the appreciation. Then, she wanders off.

And that's it. That was his best way of apologizing right there. I didn't expect an apology — men like him rarely give one — but I know, in his own way, this is it. To me, change is a far better apology than any words could speak.

I smile softly to him, thankful for his gesture to her.

"I GUESS I just want to know more about how you are — how you feel. I want to know what makes you... tick." The word 'tick' lingers in the air a little longer than the rest.

We got back from the dinner an hour ago and we've just been sitting here peacefully chatting with some wine. Hanes' arm is around the couch behind me as he leans in. Now that I'm thinking about it, we're rather close together.

"It's hard to pick stuff out when I don't even really know myself."

"Well, how are you feeling now?" He begins to play with the ends of my hair, looping it between his finger tips.

Something about the way he is right now is making my heart race — not with fear, but with anticipation. I don't know what it is. I don't want to be as attracted to him as I am. I mean, maybe it would make my job easier but, in the end, it will do me no good.

"I'm feeling..." I ponder on that for a moment, what I say next could very well change this whole encounter. "I don't know."

"You're a very beautiful girl, Viv. I'm lucky to have you around." He says in a low raspy voice.

His words are sweet which, normally, would be off-putting but right now, I'm eating them up.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

"I want to propose something to you..." he sits up a bit, still close to me.

"And, that is?" I look up into his eyes as they search my face longingly.

"Only if you want to... but, would you be interested in doing something more tonight?"

"As in?" I know what he's alluding to, I just want to hear him ask for it.

"Would you be willing to have sex, tonight? I'd pay you extra. I think it would be good... for our arrangement."

Something about the way he asked made the hairs all over my body stand on end. I know I shouldn't but my legs are nearly aching for how bad I want him. I'm used to pricks with plain faces but Hanes... well, he's just too handsome. Even without his money, I'm sure he'd be able to convince anyone to give him anything.

"You think so?" I taunt him, causing him to smirk at me.

I lean in a little closer now and I can almost feel the sexual tension now strangling the air between us. Our faces are just inches apart, his eyes looking over my lips before I look down at his.

"Yes," he smiles. "I really do."

But I won't.

"Well," I sit up. "I'm getting awfully tired. Maybe some other time, yeah?"

I can tell that he's slightly dumbfounded by the stupid look on his face. He really thought he was going to get it tonight. As much as I'd love to have my way with him, I can't let it be that easy. Besides, I like to play with him. It's fun.

"Oh, um, of course." He straightens himself out, trying to seem more composed and less disappointed than he really is.

I can't help but snicker a little and hope he doesn't notice. But he does.

"One of these days, I'll convince you. You can play with me all you want, Viv. But one day, I'll be the one taunting you."