THE DEVIL'S AFFECTION

50. IT'S YOU THAT I WELCOME DEATH WITH

I WAKE in Hades' arms. I've woken up and it's a new day but my reality still remains the same. I remember falling asleep while we held each other as we do now. He looks the same. I feel the same. Tears flood my cheeks as I recall everything that happened yesterday. I cry as I remember that I'm dead.

Hades takes a deep breath as he wakes, taking quick notice of my tears and pulling me in closer.

"Am I still dead?" I cry, knowing the answer but hoping I'm wrong.

He doesn't say anything but instead, he holds me tighter. He holds the back of my head as I tuck my face under his chin. I continue to cry, mourning my own death.

"I'm so sorry, dandelion," he coos.

I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive. I want to believe that I have a thousand more days to live. I want to believe that I can change. My world is ending and his facade has crumbled around us. All that's left is the truth and our inability to swallow it.

"I want to be alive," I cry. "I want more time."

"I'm going to try to keep you here for as long as I can. They shouldn't be able to find us here."

"I'm so scared..." I weep.

He holds me tighter. "I promise I'll do everything I can to stop them."

"What will you do?" I ask, my voice angry as I push away from him and sit up. "What are you going to do to stop them?"

"I don't know but I won't just let them take you. Kai is afraid of me," he says as he sits up with me. "He's going to need some major leverage if he wants to even stand a chance of getting near here."

I can't believe that he'll be able to stop them. Inevitably, my life will return to dust again.

I shake my head. "He'll find us at some point and every day waiting for him to show up is becoming agonizing."

He looks down and nods. I know he feels it too. He's been feeling this fear the entire time.

"I don't... know what to say." He admits. "I've run out of options. We have nowhere else to hide."

"I still don't understand how you could be so selfish." I get up from the bed and begin to walk out.

"I'm sorry... Ellie, please, don't walk away."

I can hear him coming after me. I continue down the stairs anyway.

"Ellie, if I could undo what I've done I would but I can't," he says as he follows behind me down the stairs. "I didn't know it would cause you so much pain."

I get to the bottom of the stairs and stop, snapping around and glaring at him. He freezes and looks a bit worried.

"You didn't know it would cause me so much pain? Don't play that with me. You knew exactly what you were doing. You said it yourself that you wanted to give me no other choice but you."

I turn and continue walking.

I hear him following me again. "Okay, no, I knew it would but I didn't know you. I didn't care about the consequences and I was a horrible god, I know that. I'm admitting that but I've changed. Can't you see that I've tried to be better? That I've tried to give you better?"

I stop again and turn to see him. He stops, nearly colliding with me.

"Sometimes, you can't just say sorry and expect your problems to be resolved. You... ruined me, Hades." I hated saying that. Nothing could ruin me — that's what I used to believe before I met him. "You took a life that, although ended too soon, was over as it should be. You brought me back with so much pain, more than anyone should have in their lifetime. You can't just wipe away what you've done. This isn't something that can be changed."