THE DEVIL'S AFFECTION

28. SCAR

          "Viv..." Hanes calls to me, knocking on the door. "Viv... please, let me in."

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, just needing some time to myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't want to leave him now, but I don't want to stay here forever.

"Viv... we can work something out. Please, let me in."

I don't reply.

"Viv, please!" He hits the door, causing me to startle.

I'm shocked back to a memory I had preferred to forget. I remember a man I had been set up with who turned on me very quickly once we got back to his room.

He was all nice at the dinner but when he brought me back to his room, I rejected his advances. He told me he had been promised more from the night by Austin. I assured him that Austin didn't dictate what I did or didn't do. He didn't like that answer and lunged at me. I managed to get away into the bathroom but he wouldn't leave it at that. He slammed his fists down on the door, screaming at me that he was going to hurt me.

I remember thinking that I could die that night. I remember regretting ever joining Austin.

"Viv..." his voice is quiet as he tries the door knob.

I begin to shake slightly, shaken up by the memory and beginning to relive those moments in my head.

He yelled at me, pounded his fists against the door until it broke and, were it not for my pocket knife, I don't doubt he would have done much worse to me than he did. He pushed my hand and the knife cut my thigh just below my hip, but when I stabbed him in the shoulder, he fell down and I managed to get out.

The cut is small but I can still see the scar and every time I do, I'm reminded of that night. So I typically like to keep covered up, most things I wear won't show it. It's smaller now than it had been but it'll never fully heal. Just as I won't ever forget that night, my scar will never fully disappear.

I can hear something swipe and the door clicks. It opens and Hanes peers around, his eyes finding me on the floor.

"What are you doing?!" He looks concerned.

I wipe my cheeks, I hadn't realized I had been crying.

"You're shaking..."

"I'm fine..." My voice is weak and breaks at the lie.

He comes in slowly and kneels down to meet me on the floor. He reaches his hand out towards my face and I flinch, the memory of that man cutting me in this position flashing in my mind. Hanes' hand flinches as well, pulling back immediately.

"Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" He asks concerned. "I'm not going to hurt you... I wouldn't..."

"—it's not you. I'm fine. Please, the door was locked for a reason." I shove him away. "How did you even get in?"

He holds up a credit card. "Learned it as a kid. No matter how heavy the door, it's always worked."

I sigh and look down.

He seems shocked by my composure. "Is this because of being here? I didn't know..."

"It's because of a lot of things, Hanes. I'm used to having to stay in hotels, usually much worse than this one. I just... I don't want to live like this anymore and I know there's nothing you can do about that but, I just can't."

"I didn't know it upset you that much and I'm sorry for yelling. I should have payed more attention."

I shake my head. "It's not your job to entertain me. It's mine to entertain you."

He shakes his head. "No, not tonight." He stands up. "How about I run you a bath and after, we can lay in bed and talk about it, hm?"

"You don't have to..."

"Viv, I want to." He stands up. "Just let me take care of you for a night. I want to." He holds out his hand to help me up and I take it.