Love and Loss

4. I Need A Blunt

8:05 pm
Atlanta, GA
Deija

"You go on in five."

Those were five little words that had my heart racing.

"So soon? No I can't." I shook my head, pacing back and forth. "I'm not ready. I need to rehearse the song one more time. Can you tell them I'll go on at 8:30 instead?"

"No."

I scrunched up my face. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean no. I will not tell them that. You will not go on at 8:30 you will go on in five." Jaden spoke sternly. "Deij, you've rehearsed the song a thousand times. Why you so nervous?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, feeling my hands shake. "This is just so important and this is my chance, and I feel like there is a lot of pressure and I'm just like freaking the fuck out." I realeased a breath. "Shit, I need a blunt."

"Later." Jaden shook his head. Walking closer to me, he placed his hands on my arms, looking me straight in my eyes. "Listen Deij. You're going to do great. You're voice is amazing, you know that. You shake everyone to the core, whenever they hear your voice. There is no denying your talent."

"And this song? You've rehearsed it. You've perfected it. Now it's time for you to shine. Let them see how beautiful you are okay?" He smiled softly at me, a glint in his eyes. "You'll do amazing."

I felt myself tear up a little and quickly pulled him into a hug.

"You are gonna make me ruin my makeup." I pouted, fanning my eyes as I pulled away from him. "You think I'll do good?"

"I know you will." He smiled. "You got this."

I nodded my head, trying to reassure myself.

Jaden looked down at his watch and then back up at me. "You're on."

I nodded my head nervously, but walked closer to the curtain anyway. The state manager handed me a mic, as I listened to the manager of the club present my act to the crowd.

"I present to you, Deija Walker!"

The lights turned off, signaling my cue to walk out on stage quietly. The crowd cheered and bustled as they waited anxiously. I stood in my position, my back facing the crowd.

"One, two," I counted silently as I waited for my start. "Three."

The lights turned back on, instantly lighting up the stage. The background music began to play, and through my nerves, the rhythm of the music loosened me up.

I got this.

I got this.

I got this.

"These niggas tell you what you want to hear. Everything has a price. Who here gon' sacrifice."

I turn in my place on stage, looking out onto the large crowd of people, watching me with smiles on their faces.

"Don't know exactly what you want to hear. Still I can't tell you if you hardly here, I mean that shit both ways." I sung, finding the familiar faces of Sky and Bri in the crowd, cheering me on. I smiled, my nerves slowly leaving my body. "Your friends all ask you "what you waiting on?""