𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐨 | 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐢𝐧 ✔️

forty five

[march]

It had been a full two weeks before Namjoon even thought about contacting Seulgi.

Quite frankly, he had plenty of reasons not to.

One, the basketball championships had taken place. Unsurprisingly, they won, and Namjoon was glad to have been able to make some new friends his last year of high school. He was also proud of himself for snagging the MVP award at the end of the season.

Two, he and Yoongi were starting their trial run at BigHit. Namjoon's mentor, Jonathan, was an American music producer who moved to Seoul for his job. He loved what he did, and was very kind and patient when it came to teaching Namjoon how things were run in the studio. The young adult was very happy and found that his passion for writing music was re-ignited.

Three, because of his job opportunity, Namjoon and Jin talked a lot about getting the apartment they wanted. The older was more than happy to pay for half of the rent, and Namjoon wasn't going to argue with that. They spent many hours cuddled up in bed, looking at bedroom decor and things for Young-Jae's room, envisioning their own little home. Their own life together.

Four, he'd spent a lot of time hanging out with his friends. One Saturday, the boys decided to go to the waterpark. Imagine Namjoon's surprise when he realized Jackson was there, and not to hang out with him. Everyone was shocked when he and Hoseok started getting all touchy-feely with one another, Jin raising an eyebrow with his hands on his hips. "So when did this become a thing, and how was I not aware?"

Five...

He was really just avoiding contact with her.

Not that he didn't want to talk to the absent mother of his child who mysteriously decided she wanted to pop back into their life for unknown reasons, but...

That's exactly what he was saying.

He and Jin had had a lengthy discussion once she left, trying to see where they stood with her now in the picture.

Jin made it clear that it changed nothing between the two of them, and he had no intention of sharing Namjoon with the girl. The younger agreed wholeheartedly. What he was nervous about was letting Young-Jae be in her presence.

There was always the issue of trust. How did he know she was a trustworthy individual? How did he know she wouldn't hurt him? He hated to judge a person solely by their first impression, but the girl hadn't had a good one, to begin with.

And yet, he was too kind-hearted of a soul and tried to put himself in Seulgi's shoes.

She was a fourteen year old child with an overbearing mother who believed her having a baby was the worst offense in the world. A child who only had her mother, and no other support system to help her. A child whose brain was still not fully matured, a child who was scared of the world and the criticisms in it. A child who couldn't see years into the future, didn't understand the consequences, and was concerned for her own survival in that moment in time.

Namjoon tried to see it from this perspective. Tried to understand what it was like to know you had a child out there and had turned them away at birth. How she must've felt now, how he would've felt not being able to get to know such an amazing little boy like Young-Jae.

He couldn't imagine his life without his son in it, and he didn't know if he could deprive someone else of that chance.

If he thought about it in this way, it made his consciousness a little easier.

It could've just been his way of making excuses for an already fucked up situation, but he always wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, he still couldn't trust her completely. Trust takes time, you couldn't just force it into existence.