That Special Someone~ (Dazai x Reader)

Chapter 30

"Nakahara Chuuya didn't make it. I'm sorry."

Her words echoed on forever.

It was like a fever dream, and you had no idea if any of it was real or not.

"What...do you mean..?" you asked in a weak voice. You started to have a hard time comprehending things again.

"It was quick, Miss L/n. There was no suffering." she said this before turning and walking away. The sound of her heels making contact with the floor rung loud in your ears. You could hear someone being wheeled off down the hall. A heart monitor beeped in the distance. A baby cried. All these noises made your head feel like it was about to explode. You couldn't even register what emotions you were feeling.

"Chuuya.." you teared up, feeling a pressure behind your eyes. "Dazai.." tears overflowed, running down the sides of your face. You didn't even hear the door open.

"Ah, please don't cry, Miss L/n." said a voice. It sounded almost exactly like Dazai. You craned your neck slightly to see for yourself, despite the pain. 

It wasn't him, just the doctor from earlier. Your eyes hurt as the tears came even faster. All you could do was look at the tall man with pain in your eyes, silently begging him to tell you it was just a dream, and that you'd wake up soon.

His face was plastered with remorse and guilt. This was a feeling he was all too familiar with in his line of work.

*time skip brought to you by Chuuya trying to square up with God 😔*

You awoke to the bright morning sun shining directly in your eyes. Your head no longer hurt, but there was an immense pain in your legs that you were suddenly able to feel. As your eyes adjusted to your surroundings, memories of yesterday came flooding back. You felt like you were about to be sick. You weakly tried to sit up, when you realized there was a pressure on your stomach.

Dazai's head lay against it, and his eyes were closed. You quietly gasped, completely taken by surprise that there was a whole ass man on you and you didn't even notice. He was slumped over in his chair, resting his head against your tummy like a pillow. 

You relaxed back against your pillows, forcing a small smile. You were happy that he was here, really. But, you couldn't just forget about what happened to Chuuya...

'I just..can't believe it. I won't.'  you thought.

You let out a breath and did your best to push it all away. Your heart ached, but it was done with. No amount of pain or tears would bring him back. However, you knew you'd be crying about him tonight. Denial was just one of the many things you'd have to work through.

How dramatic, crying over a man you didn't even love.

Screw the term 'love'. You cared about him. And regardless of what your anxiety told you, he cared about you, too. Thinking back into the past and the little things he let show...you could see that now.

Dazai opened his eyes sleepily, blinking a few times. He sat up and rubbed his lower back, sore from being in an uncomfortable position for so long. His face lit up when he saw that your eyes were open.

"Y/n, how do you feel?" he asked with great concern, taking your hands in his. His touch helped numb the pain you were feeling. Emotionally and physically.

"Better." you croaked, giving a small but genuine smile. Your face twisted up at the sudden pain in your legs. You started to take your covers off to look, but Dazai stopped you.

"Try not to move too much. You need to rest."

"What happened?" you asked, already knowing part of what he was going to say.

"Some glass went into your legs due to impact. Apparently, it went pretty deep. You had surgery and the doctors were able to remove it all, but you'll have to heal for weeks before they feel comfortable with you walking. Also, your ankle is broken." 

It was a lot for you to take in. You hadn't realized your body had been through so much within the last 24 hours. You met his gaze again, staring into his beautiful chocolate eyes that showed so much love and concern for you.

"Dazai....Chuuya didn't make it." you said, almost certain he already knew. He didn't bat an eye.

"All that matters is that you're alive." he said, folding his hands over yours. Really? Not even a shred of sadness? Did you really mean that much to him that he favored your life over his old mafia friend? Then again, they didn't seem like friends based on what you heard in their conversation before the whole incident. You blinked slowly, trying to figure out his mind. His face was unreadable at this point, and his eyes trailed off as his mind wandered about something.

"How long were you in the mafia?" you asked, clearly catching him off guard. He was quiet for a moment.

"A small portion of my life." he finally said. "It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is where we are now."

"Why didn't you tell me?" you asked.

"I never saw it as necessary, Y/n." he replied, showing a small smile to lighten the mood. You were silent, not having the energy to ask anymore questions. He squeezed the back of your hand and kissed it. You looked at him for a moment, taking in his facial features. He looked really tired. Not just physically, but mentally. Like he was dealing with something. Maybe he really was hurt by Chuuya's death.

Dazai was more than ex-mafia. He was someone you loved.

Still, you wondered what he was thinking about.