That Special Someone~ (Dazai x Reader)

Chapter 42

It was raining when you woke up around 5 in the afternoon. You stretched out on the comfortable bed, forgetting where you were for a moment. You sat up and looked out the window, watching as raindrops lightly tapped against the glass. You got up and walked over to it, looking out into the city. It wasn't a view like Mori had, but it was still nice.

You turned away from the window and went into the bathroom to freshen up. After doing so, you realized that you were hungry. You weren't sure if you were allowed to leave as you pleased, but you wanted to try anyways. After leaving your room and making it to the first floor, you stiffly walked past the guards. They didn't even acknowledge you, making you feel better about leaving.

You felt strange walking the streets. It was like you were in someone else's body. 

'I work for Port Mafia.' you said in your mind as you continued down the street. Just thinking it made you feel weird. You pulled yourself from your thoughts and finally decided on a small restaurant that looked inexpensive and yummy. You went inside and placed an order, settling in a window seat soon after. You ate alone, stuck in your own thoughts of regret and powerlessness. 

"We don't handle traitors very well. I'm sure I don't need to explain to you what happens if you're caught helping our enemies."

Ougai's words echoed in your head as you took a sip from your soda. Now it would be almost impossible to communicate with the Agency without getting yourself killed. You sighed, wishing that things were different. You knew it was stupid to sulk when nothing could be done, but you couldn't help constantly beating yourself up for it.

You paid your check and left, not knowing where else to go. You could go to Dazai's, but you worried that you'd be spotted by another Port Mafia member who could follow you and accuse you of being a traitor. It wasn't too likely, but it definitely wasn't something you wanted to risk. You finally arrived back at HQ, entering less nervously this time. You kept to yourself while taking the same path to get back to your room. When you did, you unlocked it to find that a card had been slipped under your door while you were away.

You closed your door and picked it up to examine it. Your first and last name were written across it in a fancy font, shimmering under the rays of the evening sun. You opened it and read it to yourself quietly.

"Mori Ougai cordially invites you to a group dinner at 6:30 pm, 3 days from today. Please RSVP by placing a mark on this card and sliding it under the door."

You bit your lip, closing the card. This was definitely not something you could say no to. If you were going to be stuck here, you might as well get on the boss's good side. You kept the card in hand as you shuffled through your bag for a pen. After a few minutes, you found one stuffed in an inside pocket. You placed a long mark across the front of the card and went back to your door. You slipped it under and exhaled, hoping that you wouldn't even be here by then. But, you doubted that you'd find a safe way out. It seemed impossible without the ADA on your side..

~Time skip brought to you by Akutagawa being perfect like always <3~ (Yes, I'm an Aku girl >:3)

(Chuuya bad too tho 👀)

Second day of training. Rei ended up having you practice on the moving targets sooner than expected. Turns out, you had quite the knack for shooting. She told you that the first two weeks would be nothing but training. It made you feel better knowing that you wouldn't start going on missions for a while, but you secretly wished you didn't have to go on any at all. The day consisted of Rei training you until 3 in the afternoon, then grabbing a bite and fighting sleep until it was time for bed. Being inside Port Mafia wasn't as scary as you'd imagined. Granted, the very first time you were there the experience wasn't exactly pleasant. But, those circumstances were different. You were now working for them, as crazy as it was.

Day three. Everyday that passed made the anxiety in you grow. Dazai was still not answering you, and you didn't have anyone else's number saved like you thought. Was this your fate? To join the Mafia and leave behind everyone you loved? The way it all happened just didn't seem right. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

Rei had you shooting disks from the air and maneuvering through haystacks with targets to simulate a real mission. It had gotten colder, yet you always ended your practices with sweat on your brow. Another day was gone just like that, and you found yourself beginning to lose hope. You missed Dazai terribly, and there were moments when you thought about just running away from everything just so you could tell him how sorry you were.

Maybe we just weren't meant to be. What a tragic fate I turned out to have.

You were now alone in your room as the sun set, causing you to let out another sad sigh. On top of everything, Mori's dinner was tomorrow evening. As nervous as you felt, you had already RSVP'd, so there was no getting out of it. You buried your face in the pillow and groaned quietly. A knock at the door grabbed your attention, to which you quickly sat up and tried to compose yourself.

"Coming..!" you called, hurrying to the door. You opened it to see a woman with her hair pulled back in a tight bun. She looked like just another uniform associate.

"You've been assigned a mission for tomorrow. Here are the details." she handed you a yellow manila folder.

"I'm not finished with training yet." you said nervously, clearly not expecting this.

"The boss thinks you can handle it. Let him know if you have any concerns." she turned away and left without another word. You slowly closed your door, now feeling like your evening was ruined. You sheepishly walked back over to your bed and crawled up to sit with your legs crossed. You took a breath before pulling out the papers, not knowing where to start.

After reading over them for about half an hour, you felt a little better. All you were being asked to do was stand guard with a few other people while someone else did all the talking. It had to do with an exchange of illegal goods. Still, those things go sideways all the time..

You promised yourself that you'd never use a gun to harm unless you absolutely needed to. Even then, you don't know if you'd have the guts to fire. You placed all the papers back inside the folder and set it on the side table. You collapsed back against your pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Everything was happening so fast. Only three days of training and you were being thrown out into something completely foreign to you.

I wish Dazai would've at least tried to talk to me rather than playing that stupid 'strangers' card..

You knew you couldn't be mad at him since you were the one who looked bad. But, why couldn't he just put the pieces together? He was a detective, after all! Did he expect you to just stay put and act like a rational human when he was literally kidnapped? He should've known you'd come for him.

Or, maybe he expected the ADA to get invol-

You shook your head. These thoughts were irrelevant and no longer mattered. You were right to think that he could handle himself. After all, you watched him walk out the doors with no trouble at all. It was stupid of you to think that you could've done anything. This was literally his life for God's sake. He knew how to deal with these people and get out of these situations. And what did you do? Dug yourself a hole by attempting to 'save' him. Pathetic.

I have to quit beating myself up. It's over..

Yet, no matter how many times you told yourself that, the regret still lingered. The only hope you had was the chance of somehow getting a moment alone with someone you trusted so you could get the message to Dazai. But, you didn't see that happening anytime soon.

It was now late, and you ended up reading over your mission one more time before taking your nightly shower and heading to bed. You felt that type of nervous excitement similar to what one would feel before the first day of school. You closed your eyes and hoped that tomorrow would go by quickly and safely. With that thought, you allowed yourself to relax and drift off into sleep..