Chasing the Sun (College Series #1)

Chapter 9

"Shut up, Mitz! You're sending her mixed signals," tanging nasabi ni Duke. "Don't worry, Sol. I don't like you in that manner," dagdag niya.

Muli akong napahinga nang malalim. I had no idea what was going on with them, and I was at a loss for words. And, yes, Duke, I understand. Thank you for deflating my hope bubbles. Since I didn't seem to be very welcome here, mabuti pang umuwi na lang ako.

I sighed. "Uuwi na lang ako. Salamat." Akmang lalabas na ako nang tawagin ako ni Duke. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa pwesto ko.

"Can we talk?" he uttered. Wala na ang matapang niyang itsura ngayon.

Tumango ako kahit na sobrang kinakabahan ako. This would be the first time we'd talk after two weeks! Call me whatever you want, but I really missed him. We are so used to being together that the thought of not being with him frustrated me to no end.

He rented so much space in my heart. That's when I knew the only people who could affect me were those that mattered to me. Duke was sadly one of them, and I can assure you that he wasn't a good tenant.

Lumabas kami at nagtungo sa garden nila. I was anxious because it was dark outside. Nothing good happens at night... at least on my nights.

"Hindi ko na patatagalin ito, Sol." Huminga siya nang malalim. "I am sorry. Alam kong nasaktan kita, kahit ngayong hindi kita sinabihan na nandito sila. I wouldn't take my words back because they were said... I really am sorry. I-I didn't mean it that way."

You did, gusto ko sanang sabihin. Patuloy ang karera sa puso ko habang parehas kaming nakatingin sa kawalan. Kahit dinig ko ang sinseridad sa boses niya at ang pagsisisi sa mga mata, wala akong maramdaman dahil pakiramdam ko ay nagbago siya.

"Okay lang, pagod ka, eh," I managed to say.

Pero pagod din naman ako, Duke. Sa pagtulong kay Nanay, sa pag-aaral ng kurso na alam kong hindi ko kaya, sa pagtingin sa 'yo at kay Mitzie, sa pagiging mahirap... sa lahat. I wasn't going to make a fuss because you weren't to blame. Hindi mo kasalanan na pag-uwi ko sa bahay ay kailangan ko pang maglaba kasama si Nanay para may ipambayad kami sa bills. Hindi mo rin kasalanan kung hindi ako matalino gaya mo. At higit sa lahat, hindi mo kasalanan kung iba ang gusto mo.

"Nagpasama ako kay Mitzie kanina."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Huh?" He was still staring blankly at the garden. He didn't even move a finger.

"I..." He gulped. "I bought you a pair of shoes." Nahihiyang saad niya bago napayuko.

"Ano?!" Nawala ang mga naiisip ko sa bigla niyang sinabi.

Nagtama ang mata namin dahil nag-angat siya ng tingin. "At isa pa, hindi ako nagseselos kay Troy. Hindi lang kita sinabihan dahil nahihiya ako sa mga nasabi ko sa 'yo." Mahabang litanya niya.

I nodded. "Okay na 'yon, Duke. Para ka namang iba sa akin." I heaved a deep sigh. Nice lies, Solene. " You don't have to buy me shoes at all. Ayos naman nang usap lang."

He shook his head. "Hindi dapat gano'n, Sol. We're adults. I should be more cautious with my words. At isa pa, I saw struggling you with your old shoes! Nakakatanggap ka ng scholarship pero inuuna mong bilhan ang iba."

"Sumabay kasi iyong birthday ni Nanay. Balak ko rin namang bumili sa susunod na stipend."

Muli itong umiling. "Just accept it, okay? Nagkamali ako sa 'yo."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't think of anything else to say. Okay na, napatawad niya na ako at napatawad ko na rin siya.

Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung bakit hindi ako masaya. Was I expecting more from him? Hindi ko alam. My mind was hair wired. Gusto kong itanong kung gusto niya si Mitzie dahil iyon naman talaga ang bumabagabag sa akin. But I couldn't bring myself to say it. I was afraid to find out what he had to say.