Attain The Sky (Engineer Series #2)

▪ forty-two

My lips curved into a thin line after I saw Sky's latest upload in instagram. Marahas ko iyon ibinaba at huminga nang malalim. So what if he uploaded his photo with Euty? So what, Sydney? They're a couple so there's nothing wrong with that. The wrong here is I am jealous even if I don't have any rights to feel that emotion.

"Ilang araw na lang, flight ko na pabalik sa France," Reeva mumbled.

"Ang bilis naman," I said, almost a whisper, couldn't get over with the fact that my feelings for Sky didn't fade. "Lubusin na lang natin 'yong araw hanggang sa makaalis ka."

"Matagal pa 'yon, h'wag na muna natin isipin," she said. "How's your day with your ex-boyfriend? Sobra naman ata 'yang pagiging apektado mo!"

I sighed heavily. "Puwede ba, h'wag na lang natin pag-usapan 'yang si Sky? Kaya hindi ako nakakalimot kasi puro kayo siya, siya, siya!"

"Bakit ka galit?"

"E, naiinis ako sa sarili ko, e!" I sipped on my frappe. "Paanong hindi ako naka-move-on sa loob ng ilang taon na 'yon? Ang tanga tanga ko naman para ikulong pa sarili ko sa lalaking hindi na ako ang mahal!"

She fell silent with with what I said. I know that she wants to say something but she chose not to open her mouth. I am devastated and frustrated in everything. I look like a mess. I feel ashame of myself because I wasted my life just because of the man who can't even see my worth. Sobrang hirap mag-isip. Sobrang hirap magdesisyon.Tangina, bakit pa kasi nagpakita 'yong lalaking 'yon? What? What's the purpose? Upang masaktan akong muli?

"Mahirap naman kasi talagang mag-move-on, Syd. H'wag mong madaliin lahat ng bagay dahil ikaw lang ang mahihirapan. If I were you, I would enjoy my life while moving on," she muttered. "Find a man, Sydney. Maybe that's the answer for your question."

I stopped for a minute to think about what she suggested. Baka nga kaya hanggang ngayon ay nahihirapan pa rin ako dahil mas'yado kong kinukulong ang aking sarili sa mga ala-ala namin ni Sky. Bakit nga ba hindi ko subukan na kumawala na dahil wala na talaga? Should I try dating other men? Should I take a risk and believe this time? After all, years have passed and Sky have already moved on. Ako na lang talaga ang kumakapit pa kahit na wala na akong dapat nang kapitan pa dahil matagal na siyang nakakapit sa iba.

"I've already decided," I said, my lips pursed. "Ano ba'ng mga dating app ang alam mo?"

Bahagyang umawang ang kan'yang labi sa aking sinabi, hindi makapaniwala sa lumabas sa aking bibig. I tilted my head on the side, trying to read her thoughts. I shook my head and I let out a small laugh. Umirap ako sa kawalan. Of course, she would react in that way because she knows how much I loathe dating apps. I tried dating apps before pero hindi rin ako nagtagal dahil may bigla-biglang nagse-send ng penis nila sa akin.

"Maybe this app suits you. It has a nice graphic and I find this app cute."

"What app?"

"Litmatch," she answered. "I've been using that app for three months and so far, the app is great."

"I'll download that later," I said nonchalantly while sipping on my frappe. After some moment, I decided to stand up and got my bag that was on the table. Reeva quickly looked up and her eyes were asking. "I'll cut my hair short. Let's go to salon."

"Why? For changes?" She seems confused. "Maganda naman 'yang buhok mo. You look hot with that hairstyle of yours," she said, stating her opinion.

"I want to cut my hair to donate this, okay? Hindi gano'n 'yon sa iniisip mo." I rolled my eyes.

"Wala naman akong iniisip," her lips formed into a smirk. "Napaghahalataan na mas'yado kang defensive."