Attain The Sky (Engineer Series #2)

▪ forty-four

I stared at my glass for too long. Severus Kayel is confusing me. I don't know why he's mad or why he's reacting in that way. I don't want to put a hope on that or to give malice at the things that he's saying, doing for me, and the way he acts when it comes to me. I'm not numb, but I'm making myself dumb to prevent pain and disappointment.

When her Mom told me that Eutychus and Sky were not a couple, parang nabunutan ako ng tinik... parang nawala 'yong dala-dala kong mabigat na nagmumula sa aking dibdib... ngunit nando'n pa rin 'yong pagdududa kaso naiisip ko, bakit ako magdududa? May kami ba?

"Seryoso ka ngayon, Mareng Sydney, ah!"

I looked up and Aziel's ugly face surprised me. I crossed my arms over my chest for him to know that I'm still mad at him. He let out a short laugh. He sat beside me and I heard him sighed deeply.

"Love hurts," he whispered.

Bahagyang tumaas ang kilay at pinakiramdaman siya. Aziel is not usually like this. Mas gusto niya na sinasarili niya ang kan'yang problema, pero siguro hindi na talaga niya kayang kimkimin kaya nasasabi na niya sa akin ngayon.

Tipid akong napangiti. Come on, Aziel... I'm willing to listen. I'm willing to help you kung may maitutulong man ako.

"Love doesn't hurt," I answered him. "Rejection hurts, being disappointed with someone you love hurts, ignored by someone you love hurts, so don't you ever say that love hurts because it's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to us." I said.

Just like my memories with Sky, when we were still together, 'yong pagmamahal na ibinibigay niya ang nakakabuhay sa akin. Ayon na nga ata ang pinakamagandang naranasan at naramdaman ko sa buong buhay ko... ang alagaan, pahalagahan, at mahalin ng taong mahal mo.

Pero lahat nga talaga ng bagay, may hangganan... gaya ng pag-ibig niya sa akin.

"Ni minsan ba, nagsisi ka na si Sky ang minahal mo?"

My lips formed a smile. "Of course not. Why would I?" I muttered. "You know, Aziel, bago ko minahal si Sky, iisipin ko muna kung worth it ba 'to? Worth it ba siya ng lahat ng sakit, pagsasakripisyo, at paghihirap ko?" Dahan-dahan kong sinabi. "Everyone is worth it, kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa kay Sky no'n dahil bakit pa, 'di ba? He deserves everything, the whole world, the love, the sacrifices."

"There's really no specific reason kung bakit mahal mo sila. Kapag totoong minahal mo, kahit pangit na rason pa 'yan, mamahalin mo pa rin, e, 'no?" Mahina siyang tumawa at bigla siyang tumayo. Tumingala pa ako upang matingnan siya nang diretso. Napanguso ako. His eyes were filled with sadness and pain. I could see it.

"Forget this, Sydney. Hindi ko lang kasi napigilan 'tong bibig ko." Natatawang saad niya at pinagpagan ang kan'yang sarili. "But still... thank you, Syd, for always being there, for making me feel that I'm important, that I have purpose in this world. We may not be sibling in blood, but I treat you as my little sister. Kaya kapag may nanakit pa sa 'yo, sabihin mo lang sa akin, ha?"

I just shook my head playfully and gave him a warm smile. Since then, the three of them; Cleve, Keith, and Aziel, were there to lit up my dark world. I don't know how to thank them. I don't know how to say them that I really appreciate their existence, that I'm really thankful that they treat me right, despite of being hard-headed, the frustrations that I gave to them.

"Kung sino man 'yang nagugustuhan mo, just be patient. Laging nasa tamang oras ang lahat. Tiisin mo pa... magiging worth it din ang lahat."

Umiling lang siya at tipid na ngumiti bago maglakad papalayo.

I held my chest as I felt an unknown feelings inside my chest. I breathe heavily and looked up only to see the warm, peaceful, and beautiful sky. Until now, the sky still amazes me... kung paano nagiging iba-iba ang kulay nito sa bawat araw, kung paano gumaganda ang langit pagkatapos ng matinding ulan, at kung paano ito nagdadala ng kakaibang pakiramdam sa akin.