THE SPACE BETWEEN

Chapter 29

Trigger Warning(s):  Explicit Language and Sex

(Missi's POV)

On the drive back to Malibu I vacillated between anger and tears. Shannon hadn't really said what I wanted to hear. But he'd voiced the most important thing—he was getting help. Without that admission we'd be stuck playing the same charade. He was starting to own his part of the situation too and that was progress. The sad part was that there wasn't anything either of us could say that would erase the damage his relapse left.

When I got to the cottage I poured myself a large glass of wine and propped my feet up on the deck railing. Listening to soothing music came to mind, but I doubted there was enough music in the whole world that could console me. I took a big swig of wine and waited for the welcome, tingling effect of the alcohol. The sensation typically started in my neck and eventually spread throughout my body. I'd just closed my eyes to await its arrival when I heard Angela.

'Missi...you're looking a bit better today.' She chirped.

'Yes, a little.' I smiled. 'Would you like a glass of wine?'

'Oh, no dear. I'm just out for a quick jaunt before Stewart and I go to dinner. I'll be too full to move afterward. We're going to Moonshadows. The seafood there is exceptional and there's a spectacular view of the coast. Why not get yourself out for a while and come with us?' Her eyes lit.

'I appreciate the offer—truly—but I've been to LA today for an appointment and all I want to do now is relax.'

'If you insist. Did the visit from that handsome husband of yours help cheer you up?' Her nose scrunched up with excitement. 'I wouldn't leave him alone anywhere.' She winked.

'Yes, I guess that's part of it.' I lied to avoid any further discussion of that subject.

'Surely with a man like that you won't be staying the rest of the week.'

'I think I might anyway.' I smiled assuredly.

Well, okay. I'm off now. I'll probably catch you tomorrow then.' She waved and resumed her trek.

'Good Lord. I hope I'm half that zippy when I get older.' I snickered as her pace quickened.

I highly doubted Angela's life was affected by substance abuse to the extent mine was. I'm sure she had her own demons, but her take seemed to be that love and faith conquer all. She'd likely never seen how quickly the disease can chew up beliefs and spit them out.

After pouring myself another glass of wine I went in the bedroom. I stripped my jeans off and sat down on the bed. It was late afternoon and the sun was getting lower in the sky. Sitting still gave me time to reflect and I'd already had the opportunity for more than enough of that while I was driving.

I decided to go down to the beach and run my feet through the sand before it started getting dark. I grabbed a pair of what I thought were shorts and groaned. They weren't shorts they were tap pants that were bottoms to a lingerie set.

'Screw it.' I blurted out and slid them on.

I pulled a beach towel out of the linen closet before knocking back what remained in my glass. I was starting to feel the alcohol now. I dug through the kitchen cupboards to find some kind of container to make my liquid portable. Luckily I came across a large travel mug. I emptied the bottle of wine into it and after snapping the lid closed I was on my way.

My equilibrium was working against me as I trudged through the sand. I didn't go far before I laid the towel down and plopped myself on it. I put my toes in the sand and brought the travel mug to my lips.