the tour

Chapter 9

I pull up to Crown hotel and follow her directions to the underground car park. I text her to say I was there. A few minutes later, she comes out of an Exit door and stops dead in her tracks staring at me through the windscreen with her mouth open. She gets into my car "dude! This car is hot!" She says whilst looking around the interior. "You're kidding me right?" I say as I pull out of the carpark and onto the main road, "you've got sexier cars than this!" She looks at me and smirks "maybe but none of them have you in it".

Rodney kept me at work later than I expected but luckily I was able to shower at the Arena and Harry to help me freshen up. I end up wearing the same black jeans I had on earlier cuffed at the ankle, a black and white horizontal stripe t-shirt, black ankle Doc Martins, and a vegan leather jacket courtesy of Harry. Billie's wearing black sweatpants, a neon green t-shirt to match her hair a beanie now so no one should recognise her. She was pretty worried about being recognised by her crazed fans before we organised tonight because she hadn't been to Australia before but decided to take the plunge. 

I drive the whole way to the beach with her hand on my thigh. I place my hand over hers whenever I stop at a traffic light and she interlaces her fingers in mine. I park my car at the beach front and we sit for a few seconds in silence taking in the view.

I let out a sigh, "Do you wanna skinny dip?" I say looking at her. She looks back at me and raises her eyebrows saying "I'd happily watch you". I grin at her and open the car door heading to the boot to pull out a picnic rug. As I close the boot, she exits the car. We head to the beach and watch the waves under the cover of darkness.

We sit and talk for almost 2 hours about everything. She asks me a lot of questions about myself, family, goals, and dreams. I've never been so open with a person I've known for less than 24 hours. It surprises me but then at the same time doesn't since she's so easy to talk to. We talk about her songs and some of the demons that live in her head.

"Why do I feel that what you're saying is more complicated than it actually is?" I say. "I hope you can never understand what it's like. There's always negatives to the positives. Not that I can blame everything on fame and shitty people." She stops talking and looks down at her lap. "I get it" I say fully understanding where she's coming from "I'm trying to be better with my thoughts. Training myself to not be so negative. You know?" She looks at me "I don't mean to be blunt but I did notice that. You should be nicer to yourself. One thing I have learnt is that everyone else is going to try put you down to make themselves feel better so you have got to be your source of light in a sea of dark" I laugh "I'm being too poetic now aren't I?" She says sniggering. I nod and nudge her arm with mine. "Are you cold?" She says as she notices the goosebumps on my arm. I nod. Instinctively she goes to take her jumper off. I hold her hands in mine to stop her. "Just cuddle me? I don't want you to get cold as well" she smiles and opens her arms for me. I snuggle into her with my back against her front as she envelopes me in her arms and rests her chin on my shoulder.

We sit in silence, taking in the sound of the waves crashing. "We could probably both fit in this" I say tugging on her sleeve. "You know, my biggest insecurity is my body" she pauses "the one thing I hate is people judging me for what I look like. It's rough. They assume things about me. Even now, wearing baggy clothes, they assume I'm hiding something or that I've got lumps" I scoff "Yeah! Shit can get stupid. I don't know. I tried to take away the power in their words and wear the total opposite to what women are expected to wear. Now they don't know if I shave my legs or if I'm wearing underwear or not." She takes a breath. "It's smart. The one thing I hate about red carpets is when they ask the women who they are wearing. Like, just say they look gorgeous and ask them a real question". I shake my head "I'm sure Jennifer Aniston has never been asked what she thinks about gay marriage" Billie snuggles her head down and let's out a sigh. I feel her breath on my neck and it sends shivers down my spine. She kisses my cheek "I love that. It's so true."

——

I take Billie back to her hotel, park and turn the car off. She takes off her seatbelt and turns to look at me. "Do you wanna come up?" I laugh and look ahead. I thought briefly about how to answer if this question did come up but couldn't come up with an answer. I liked Billie, but I was convinced she wants a short fling from me. Billie hasn't come out and most likely wouldn't to the media and I don't think I'd be comfortable hiding my relationship. I don't even know if her feelings are genuine. She senses my hesitation "Even just for a drink?" She says. I look over at her now. "Come ooon. We've had such a good night and I just don't want it to end." She pushes out her bottom lip and gives me puppy dog eyes. I laugh and take my seat belt off. She giggles and exits the car.