the tour

Chapter 19

I get back to the hotel and have worked myself up into anger and frustration. She's sitting on the couch on her phone. "Can we talk?" I ask trying not to raise my voice. "Yeah" she says as she puts her phone down to watch me walk and sit down on the couch. "Have I done something? Or said something to upset you?" I say not looking into her eyes. "What do you mean?" She says. "You've been really cold to me today... barely said 10 words to me". She looks down at her hands in her lap. "And you left early this morning" she looks up at me when I say that. "You were awake?" She asks. "Your voice woke me up" I say "what did you hear?" She asks. "Only that you were talking to Finneas" I say. She puts her head in her hands and sighs. She stands up and paces the room.

"I trust Finneas" she starts. Oh no. She'd been so strong at first but now I feel that I'm becoming less and less desirable to her. Did I put out too early? I brace myself. "But I think he's wrong. I've been trying to tell him for days now that you're not like my ex. That you're different. My ex didn't love me, he just wanted to party with other celebrities and become an Instagram baddie. He didn't like me. I've been trying to tell Finneas this but he's being so one-minded. He called last night and said shit again so I went over and gave it to him. He was worried that I was jumping in too fast" she sits next to me and holds my hands. "I know he's wrong. He just doesn't know you like I do. He doesn't know you..." she'd been looking down at our hands the whole time. "Billie, I..." she looks at me at the sound of her name. Tears roll down her face. Why did I think of myself this whole time? She's been going through emotional turmoil and it's all coming out now. I hold her face with my hands and look into her blue eyes that are now swimming in tears. "I don't ever want to hurt you. I'm not looking for fame even though you made it sound so appealing" I say rolling my eyes and making her smile. "I don't want anything from you except your heart and maybe some attention" I continue. She smiles wider. I get her a tissue from the table but she's already used the sleeve of her purple hoodie to wipe her face.

I pull her closer to me and she leans her head against my chest. I run my fingers up and down her back. She keeps crying and I don't know what to do except sin, "I had a dream, I got everything I wanted and when I wake up I see, you with me". She lifts her head and kisses me. "You know?" I start "I think you're the one using me" she raises her eyebrows. "You make me do your set up and sound check and I don't even get a thank you" I say smiling and faking a shocked expression. She smiles and kisses me hard. "Do you want another chain?" She jokes and I laugh. We fall back onto the couch together and we kiss.