the tour

Chapter 13

We end up back at her hotel room. Which shouldn't be a surprise. I have so many doubts and questions. Is she only doing all this so she can get laid? Does she genuinely like me? Does she think I'm a good kisser? Am I talking enough? If we have sex tonight, will it be better or worse than last night? What will happen when she leaves tomorrow?

"Baby, what's wrong?" She asks coming over to kneel at my feet while I sit on the edge of the bed. I am suddenly aware of how lost I look and that I'm biting my lip. "Billie, I just have so many doubts and questions" she searches my eyes for answers. "What do you mean? About what?" She asks. "This. You. Everything that's happened over the past 2 days" I say falling backwards onto the bed in a huff. She pulls my wrists so I'm sitting upright again. "Baby, you're getting in your head. Live in the moment, I don't know anything about that stuff either". She pauses "Do you not feel good about the past 2 days?" She says. "No, no I do it's not like that. I've enjoyed this time with you. It's just..." I trial off. She squeezes my knees and kisses me hard. "I know something that might take your mind of everything" she says pushing me onto the bed.

She flips me over so I'm lying on my stomach and unzips my dress. I help her take it off my body. She raises her eyebrows when she realises I'm not wearing a bra and she traces a finger down my spine. She flips me over again so I'm once again on my back. She leans over me and kisses my lips. I'm already out of breath. She grabs my chin and turns my head to the side so she can kiss my neck. She chokes me softly and trials kisses down my body and breasts until she gets to my underwear. She pulls them off swiftly and begins to take me in her mouth. Once again, I'm quick to the mark but at least I lasted longer than last night. It's her fault that she's turning me on so much.

She climbs on top of me and I undo each button of her shirt slowly. Teasing her. Once her shirt is open, she leans in to bite my neck and I move the shirt over her shoulders. I unclasp her bra and scratch my nails down her back and she groans. She smiles at me and returns to kissing my lips. She falls to her side and promptly takes her bra and pants off, leaving her underwear for me. I move so I'm on top of her and slowly plant kisses along her stomach. I push her legs to the side and trail kisses from her knee to her panty line. She's frustrated. 'You're such a tease' she breaths. I smile and take her underwear off. I move a finger slowly inside of her whilst licking her clit. She's so wet. She holds the back of my head whilst she reaches climax.

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"Do you think you'd ever record your own music?" She asks me. We're lying under the covers now. She's lying on her back and I'm nestled in to her side with her arm around me. She's put her Spotify on softly in the background. I softly scratch her arm, giving her goosebumps. I look up at her "I've thought about it but I'm just not ready". She responds with 'mmm' and we fall silent. "Have you got any more that I can hear?" She asks. I lift my head to look at her. "You want to hear my voice memos?" I ask. "Yeah! I saw you had heaps of recordings the other day". I hesitate. Do I really want Billie Eilish to hear my unfinished tracks. Most of them are spoken lyrics or unfinished melodies, not actual songs. "Please?" She says giving me her puppy dog eyes. I laugh and roll over to grab my phone from the bedside table. I play her the one I'm most confident with that was recorded recently. It's some lyrics and a melody.

My voice starts "Working title... 'I had a dream''' I cringe at the sound of my voice and Billie closes her eyes. She pulls me back into her side and I try my best to bury myself into her and the sheets. I start playing a melody on keyboard. I begin singing "I had a dream, I got everything I wanted. Not what you think. And if I'm being honest it might have been a nightmare to anyone that might care. Thought I should die. So I stepped off the Golden. Nobody cried. Nobody even noticed it might have been a nightmare. I kinda thought you might care... I had a dream, I got everything I wanted and when I wake up I see, you with me. And you said 'As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you.' Duh duh duh," my voice trails off not deciding on lyrics for that part but the keyboard melody continues. My voice starts back up "If I could change, the way that I see myself, I wouldn't wonder why you're here. I don't deserve you." The recording finishes. I keep my head cowered. Billie rolls over on her side and lifts my chin up with her finger. "Wow!" She says with a smile "Has anyone else used that?"!I scoff "No, it's only a draft so..." She cuts me off "Can you send that to me?" I text her the song and she busies herself with her phone. She puts her phone on the bed and says "You're incredible, you know that?" She kisses me deeply. Her phone buzzes and she answers. Someone is loud on the other side. "I know, dude!" She rolls towards me and brushes hair from my face "I haven't asked her" I can hear a male voice now that the phone is closer. The voice says "Well it's good you got something from her since you did buy her a necklace" she sighs and rolls onto her back "Shut the fuck up, it's not like that" I can hear the murmuring of the male voice and she slips a tshirt and underwear on and makes her way to the couch. Who was that voice? Was this her plan all along? I look down at the chain she gave me, holding it out with my fingers. Did she buy me this to get a song out of me?