the tour

Chapter 22

Thoughts start rushing back to my mind about what will happen next as we near the end of her Australia leg of the tour. Do we end when she leaves Australia? I've got feelings for her and I don't think it will be easy for me to leave her behind. I hope she feels the same about me. Who knows? I'm still nervous to talk about these things with her, fearing the response. My biggest fear is that her feelings are vastly different to mine.

Safe to say, Finneas is no longer getting in her ear about me although she still keeps things private from me. I understand why she does. She doesn't trust me 100% yet. She hasn't known me for long and she hasn't seen all sides of me yet. She hasn't even seen me cry or yet. And I'm the same with her. She did mention the other day that the way she is on tour is different to her everyday life. It's different circumstances and different countries. She gets stretched to her limits on tour and I can see that clearly. I wonder how she is at home, how she interacts with her parents, her friends. I'm beginning to come to the realisation that I might never know.

After Brisbane's show, we plan an almost wrap party with the band. The band has decided to go to sleep early before the flight back home. It is 28 hour flight after all. So we plan on ordering room service and drinking beers in Billie's suite.

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Hanging out with the band is fun. They're all goofy and practically big kids. Billie's drummer has brought his Nintendo Switch and he hooks it up to the giant television in Billie's lounge room. We play Mario Kart all night.

At about 5am, the band starts heading back to their own rooms. Finneas stays behind a bit and him and Billie are chatting whilst I tidy up the room. "I can't wait to get back home to her" Finneas says. "It's her birthday coming up so I've got to start thinking of something to get her." "Get her a koala?" Billie says to him laughing. I look over and can see she's had a few too many beers. "Omg. That's it, I'm going to bed" Finneas says as he hugs Billie goodbye. "Will you be OK with her?" He asks me. "Yeah, I've got it" I say hoping I'm not too drunk myself. He touches my arm and smiles before leaving the room.

Billie's laying on the couch when I walk over to her. "Come on" I say grabbing her arms to pull her up. She begrudgingly stands up but quickly uses me as a support. Exhaustion and beer does not go well together. I get her into bed and she starts hiccuping. I turn away to close the bedroom door and turn the lights off. She grabs my hand and starts talking about something. I turn back around to face her. "What's that?" I ask her. "The other night *hiccup*" I giggle. "Yeah?" I say. "I didn't say 'Thank you'"she continues. I wait for her to keep going. "I said 'I love you'"she says laughing. She rolls over and starts dozing off to sleep. I sit there stunned. She's drunk, she doesn't mean that. But the truth often comes out when people are drunk. Does she really love me? Do I love her? "Billie?" I say but she's already drifted off to sleep.