JAHSEH SAT in his room staring up at the ceiling in pure regret, guilt, and anger. he messed up, badly and he knew he did. knowing it was his fault he couldn't bare to even go to Max's funeral and see her dead like he wished upon her. he put his arm over his eyes letting out a sigh thinking of the girl's face, smile, and even her laugh before he'd took it away from her. he thought she was the most beautiful girl.
"fuck." he muttered as his phone began ringing. he didn't bother looking at the caller ID. "hello." he answered tiredly. "miss me?" he heard her angelic voice making him sit up on his bed. "bruh stop playin' on my phone pretending to be a dead girl." he spoke growing angry.
"it's me Jahseh, i promise." she whispered. "Max." he whispered as he felt tears growing in his eyes. "i never got to tell you i forgive you." she spoke softly.
"where are you?" he asked. "heaven, it's pretty nice up here you know.. i didn't think i'd make it." she spoke sighing. "Max stop it, where the fuck are you?" he questioned. "i'm dead Jahseh, where else could i possibly go besides heaven or hell?" she asked. "i'm so sorry Max, i swear i didn't mean to hurt you." he whispered sadly.
"it's okay babe, i know you didn't mean it." she assured the teary eyed boy. "why'd you do it?" he asked as a tear rolled down his face. "i thought thats what you wanted for months, i just wanted to make you happy." she muttered looking around at the flying angels enjoying each other's company. "i'm not fucking happy, i miss you, so much." he sniffed.
"i'm sorry, i can't come back." Max spoke. "can i come to you?" he asked. "no." she said quickly. "why?" he asked.
"because i don't want you to die." she muttered. "i can't do shit knowing your gone because of me. i haven't been to school in a week, i haven't ate or anything please i need you so fucking much right now Max let me come to you." he whispered. "you have so much to live for Jahseh, i can't just let you do it. i'm sorry." she said before hanging up.
he awoke from his sleep in a deep sweat. every since last month happened he'd always have dreams of Max. he wiped his forehead sighing before getting out of his bed going into his bathroom cutting on the light and splashing cold water on his face. it was starting to become a routine for him having dreams and waking up from his sleeps.
he knew it was his fault because him telling her to kill herself replayed in his head. he cut his light off and went back to his room laying back down in the dark letting his thoughts consume him whole. he missed her a lot. not because he was an ass but he missed the Max he'd seen around school before he began messing with her. she was always smiling and goofing around with Jordan and Ashley and once he began bullying her that all stopped.
to say he liked her would be pretty fucking cliche but he couldn't help but to develop some kind of feelings for her before he started bugging her. Jahseh would leave little notes in her locker that he'd watch her open and smile at before taking it home with her and putting them somewhere safe so she wouldn't lose them. she loved the thought of her having a secret admirer only she'd never expected it to be Jahseh.
they hung out once and maybe he admitted his feelings for her and she'd felt the same she was scared to date him and perhaps that was what triggered his anger toward her which led him to driving her dead. he lifted up once again from his bed and pulled his all black gun from out his drawers staring at it as he pulled the trigger. he looked around the darkness for nothing in particular.
placing the gun to his head, he muttered a quick sorry before shooting himself as his brains and blood splattered across his head board as he slowly slid down on his bed going to be with Max like he wished, wanted, and hoped for.
