Chapter 11 - Understand

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Chance Kyson

Ever since I was a kid, my life has always been rough. I've gone through a lot of shit and that what makes me who I am right now. I live my life everyday knowing, expecting and ready for people to leave.

When Phoenix left, I thought I'll be okay. I know he's happy but once he left, I felt empty. Ever since I joined ILLICIT, I've never been happier. I was a part of something and I thought we would be in this together for a long run but I was wrong.

Then the second one came along, Adrian left. I started to lose hope after he left. Adrian and I were so close with each other that the moment he left was a hard blow for me. Adrian told me that he was happy to start a new chapter of his life and he even suggested me to do it too.

Then the third one, Angelo left. From the moment that he left, I swore to myself that I will never leave ILLICIT. I will never leave Dean alone and I will give everything up just to stay in ILLICIT forever. I was broken inside even though I didn't show it a lot in front of them.

The history repeats itself after years being happy with ILLICIT.

I started to blame Phoenix, Adrian and Angelo. I started developing hatred towards them. They knew my background and they knew my history, they shouldn't have left. I was angry, I was mad and all I wanted is not to talk to them anymore.

They tried to reach out to me multiple times but I always end up not wanting to talk to them. They're selfish, they all think of themselves. We were ILLICIT once and now they just leave because of love? Fucking stupid!

I'm not selfish like them, I will never leave Dean alone because I know.. once I leave Dean alone, he will reach his downfall. His downfall will be so much worse than I am because I know him that well.

Now, Aria is going to leave too. Aria is one of that person in my life that can make me forget how cruel the world is. She can make your gloomy day turn into a good one. She's my bestfriend and I see her as one of the ILLICIT members even though she's not officially one of us.

At least, she's leaving to be with someone who can take care of her. I think I can live with that and besides I can't be selfish and make her stay with me. She wants love and a family, I can't give that to her. Letting her go will be the best decision that I'll make even though it will break me or maybe I'm already broken.

I was losing hope again in life, I was losing control again.

I opened my eyes slowly and I could hear a beeping sound beside me. I saw Phoenix and Adrian standing next to me to check on my condition. They immediately called the doctor to check on me. I found myself pulling the IV from my vein and got up from the bed.

"Chance, what the hell are you doing?" Adrian tried to stop me from going out. I pushed him away and walked out from the room. I was angry, sad and completely broken inside. I don't want to deal with Phoenix, Adrian, Angelo and now.. Aria.

"Chance." Phoenix stopped me by standing in front of me preventing me to get into the lift.

"You're sick." He said and I glared at him hard.

"Mind your own business, Sterling." I hissed and pushed me away. I got into the lift and went straight to the basement. I grabbed my motorbike key and walked towards my motorbike.

When I looked at it, it reminded me of Aria right away. I closed my eyes and I could feel my heart hurting. I really need to throw this bike away, it will only bring me bad memories.

"Where do you think you're going?" I froze when I heard Dean's voice. I turned around and he walked to me. He took my motorbike key and he sighed.

"You need some rest." He said and I couldn't even look at him. He knew that something is wrong with me and he knew why.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked and that made me look up to him. He raised his eyebrows and I shook my head.

"I want to be alone, please just leave me alone for now." I said and I walked pass him to grab my car key.

"Throw that bike away for me." I said before getting into my car. I opened the basement door and drove my car out. I drove out from the headquarters back to my house.

I need to be alone.

Adrian Nielsen

"He will never leave." Phoenix said as we both looked Chance driving out from the headquarters.

"I know." I sighed.

"You two should go." We both turned to see Dean walking towards us. He looked at the both of us coldly as he put his hands into his pocket.

"Chance's condition is none of your business, he's under my watch."

"How can you let him drive away like that? We found h-"

"You're blaming me?" Dean cut Phoenix who was bursting his anger at him.

"Do you think he's like that because of me? It's because of you three who were so selfish and chose love over ILLICIT. You broke him slowly and Aria was the climax of him being like this." He said in a calm tone but I know that he was angry inside. He was hurt and so does Chance.

"Dean.."

"We're already in our downfall, Nielsen. Don't make it much worse." Dean said and it was clear for us to know that he was definitely so hurt by us.

"Dean, we-"

"I've already lose three, I'm not going to lose Chance. He'll be under my watch. Mind your own business and just stay away from us. You don't have the rights anymore to step into this headquarters or even have contact with us. What part of it that you don't understand?"

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