Couldn't stay away//H.S ✔

Chapter 21

Ellie's POV ~~

The next day, I was going to my next class when Harry made an appearance.

He suddenly came and stood in front of me, making me stumble on him and my face hits his chest.

I rest my hands on him to steady myself but then make some distance between us when I see how close we were standing.

"Please, hear me out" He pleaded.

"I have class, Harry" I calmly said.

"I can't take it anymore, El, please" He emphasised on the please.

I sighed because I knew this was coming. After talking with Lucas yesterday, a lot of thing has become clear to me.

"Fine."

We sat in his car without a word and took off. I didn't say a word, a comfortable silence was there as I didn't thought much about anything.

I needed to be calm about this, overthinking is gonna take me nowhere.

I lifted my hand to turn on the radio and the soothing voice of James Arthur filled the air.

An hour later, Harry stopped the car in front of a forest. I didn't say anything and let him take me wherever he wanted to.

I was practically thinking about what I am going to say to him.

We came to a halt and I look up to see we were inside the forest and a river was flowing it's way through the land.

It felt serene. Nobody was around, we were the only two people here.

I see Harry as he takes his sweater off, that he was wearing, and lays it on the grass and sits down and I followed him.

I see him looking at me, staring at me, through the corner of my eye.

"You are awfully quiet today" He says to start a conversation.

I look down at my lap and murmur out "I don't know what to say."

He sighed heavily "Look, I am sorry, El."

"What are you exactly sorry about, Harry? Sorry about calling me a whore or sorry about being with the person who wants to only ruin us?" I snarked at him.

You need to be calm, El.

I took a deep breath and control myself from saying profanities at him.

"I know, I fucked up, El, I know I fucked up bad, but you gotta let me explain, please" He begged.

"Well, I am here, aren't I?"

He gulped and then start saying "That night, I know, I shouldn't have said things, I know I shouldn't have called you names. I was angry and afraid." He paused. At least he is guilty. "I was afraid, El, that I am gonna loose you all over again. I thought soon you will realise I am not worthy enough of having you. I-I thought.. you will leave me again."

I can see his pain in his eyes and could feel the anger and frustration that was coming from him in waves.

He took a breath and continued "I am fucked up, El. I don't deserve you. I feel like- like sooner or later you will leave me" He said between gasps.

He lifted his hand and touched my cheek as he wiped a tear that dropped down on my cheek. I didn't even realised I was crying.

He left his hand on my cheek as he stroked it looking at me with admiration and whispered out but loud enough for me to hear "And if you do- if you do- end up leaving me, I won't be able to live, El"