Rescue My Drowning Heart | COMPLETED

You're Still On My Mind

"Feeling used, but I'm still missing you and I can't see the end of this, just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but I still can't seem to tell you why it hurts me every time I see you, realize how much I need you." —Gnash & Olivia O'Brien.

Chapter Theme Song: 'I hate you, I love you' by Gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien.

••

Harmony

I have no right to be mad at Blaze, right?

Everyone warned me, including himself. He did say that he may emotionally destroy me. But it still hurts because, in my head, I was secretly hoping that he felt the same. It hurts to be viewed as easy to someone, and it hurts even more when you give them the impression that you are.

I spent longer in the shower this morning so I can get all the tears out before heading to class. My eyes are red with bags underneath them, and though I am not a makeup person, I think it's essential for today. I dab some face powder under the dark area beneath my eyes and apply a little lip balm so that my lips won't appear cracked and pale.

When I step out of the bathroom, April is up and making her bed, swinging a half-smile in my direction.

"Good morning, you spent an hour in there, you alright?"

I sigh. "Yeah. Sorry..."

I walk to my bed to grab something to wear from my suitcase, and at the corner of my eyes, I can see that she's watching me closely. She hops down from her section with a quiet exhale as she folds her arms.

"So... I heard that last night you were dancing with Kite, and then Blaze got mad and pulled you away; what happened between you two?"

I'd prefer not to talk about that right now. I would only break down into tears all over again.

"Nothing..." I mumble, closing the zipper on my carrier.

"He took you back here, right? What happened after that?"

I will tell April everything since all is already said and done, but not right now. I feel like I need to reach a point where I can call his name and not cry my eyes out like a depressed individual.

"Nothing happened between us..."

She takes a deep breath, and her eyes are clouded with sympathy as she bobs her head slowly. She has probably caught on to a lot more than I may think, but she decides to let it go, and I am so grateful.

"Alright. Well, I'm going to take a shower, alright?"

I nod, still not looking at her as she purses her lips and walks away.

I hope she understands that I don't wish to speak about her cousin right now and the fact that he took my first kiss and touched me just so that he could satisfy his evil curiosity. I need some time to recover from it all.

••

"Harmony, wait up!"

A breathless yelling of my name makes me turn around to see a gasping Mal making his way up to me. Sweat is trickling down his forehead, and if it were a great day for me, I would have run a joke or two about his constant chasing behind me.

"Good morning." He smiles.

I return the gesture, but quite half-heartedly.

His eyes narrow observantly as he studies my face. "You okay? Your eyes seem a bit swollen...?"

Damn you, stupid foundation. I should take it back to the store. It said a thick layer on the bottle.

I look away and nod. "Yeah, I am great, thanks. What is it?"