Rescue My Drowning Heart | COMPLETED

Part II| This Is Hard For Me Too

"Watch me as my world burns down. You kicked me down and stole my crown. Though my heart is telling me to go, I just gotta let you know that you sunk my ship and then you let me drown." —Boy In Space.

Chapter Theme Song: 'Drown' by Boy In Space.

A/N: Please listen to the above song! :)

••

Harmony

I break away from Kite's embrace and take a step back. His expression immediately becomes bleak as he swallows down the rejection.

"I need some time," I mutter.

His mouth opens to say something, but I am already turning away to leave the deck.

I spent the rest of the day in the hotel suite. There are two beds in the room, so April and I share the space while Yuna and Tia stay in another billet.

I felt awful that Kite paid for my stay here, yet I am unable to reciprocate his feelings. And so I decided that I would leave and head back to Homewood. I went as far as to pack my stuff, but then April persuaded me not to go because she thinks running away from my problems won't solve it. I tried to assure her that it is not an act of running away but more of a need to not be indebted to anyone. Somehow she convinced me to stay with her, and I came to the conclusion that the ability to coax others obviously runs in their gene.

When everyone left the event at about eight in the night, the girls and I spent some time at my quarters talking and painting our nails. It made me feel a little better, but occasionally my thoughts would regress to Blaze. April could tell, and she would attempt to crack a joke or attempt to speak to me so that I could stop thinking about him. It helped, but only temporarily.

••

It's around midnight when April finally steps out of the bathroom after quite a long shower. She glances over at me, who's lying on my stomach with my head pressed against the pillows. Yuna and Tia went back to their room some while ago, leaving me all alone with my crippling thoughts.

Applying some skin lotion onto her arms, she saunters over to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." I mumble.

We both know that I'm not.

She sighs and doesn't say anything. She's probably unsure of what else to say, and how can I blame her? I have nothing left to say either. Blaze wants nothing to do with me, and that's the fact of it all.

Earlier this evening, I managed to explain to her what happened between Blaze and me. She told me he spoke with her about Kite kissing me and advised me that he is only scared of commitment. That didn't make the situation any better and just made me feel far worse.

She plods across the room to her bed and crawls under the covers, shifting onto her side so she can look at me.

"Hey, you'll be fine tomorrow, I promise, alright?"

I nod, but deep down, I know that it won't be possible. The heartache only worsens at each second that passes by. Maybe it's because he's my first love why I have fallen this hard, but I never knew falling in love, an emotion rumored to be the most blissful thing, would be this painful and agonizing.

She extends her hand toward the bedside lamp and turns the lights out. "Get some sleep, okay, Harmony? Stop thinking about Blaze."

I nod my head weakly, afraid that I'll start crying again if I were to respond vocally.

In no time, April falls asleep, and I am left in the dark, staring at the grey curtains draped over the closet in front of me.

I am alone with my thoughts now, and it's the scariest feeling.