Freshman, a Diary | Completed

11. The Warning

April

Wednesday

"I don't think I can be able to wait two weeks Zinzi, I really wanted to get over with it," I said to Zinzi after telling her the whole story. We were sitting by our usual bench waiting for the next period.

"At least you already know how it feels like, you can wait just a little bit."

"That's the problem. Knowing exactly how it feels is the one thing that is making it hard to wait. I want to do it again, soon," I felt myself say, such a whore.

"Please don't fuck Karabo again," she said, hearing where I was going with my conversation.

"No, I wasn't talking about Karabo."

"The older Congolese guy?" I shyly nodded. "Tshedza, if you sleep with that guy before Sihle, there is no way Sihle will believe you were a virgin,"  She is right.

"I know, that's another problem. But still, waiting is hard," I said, and she laughed.

"Oh my gosh, was it that good or are you just a hoe?" she asked, and we continued laughing. "Your life is so busted my friend."

"So why didn't you and Jabu do it already? since that night you haven't tried at all?" I asked.

"I wasn't ready that night, and I don't think I'm ready now either. Every time I plan to, I just get scared,"

We talked until the break was over and we had to go our separate ways.

During lunchtime, I went to the Venda group meeting that lady told me about. I have already received an SMS of where and when the meeting is happening. I might as well just attend as there was nothing I was doing.

There were few people when I walked in the lecture room where the meeting was being held. I sat at the back coz I was a little bit late. I didn't want anyone to notice me. But well, everybody saw me, when Karabo shouted my name before coming inside to realise I'm not alone. Everyone looked back, he then apologised by meeting his two hands. The lady who told me about the meeting saw me too, so she waved at me, smiling.

"Crap, I thought there was no one in here," Karabo whispered as he seats next to me.

"Why did you come in if you thought there was no one?" I whispered back, as the guy who seems to be the group leader talks in front.

"I saw you walking inside, so I followed you,"

"So, you are stalking me?"

"No, maybe," he smirked. I just looked at him as he side smiled at me and I couldn't help thinking about our crazy chats lately, and the sex itself. Maybe I don't have to wait two more weeks, I thought as I move my hand to his pants directly on top of his penis. What the hell am I doing?

"I heard about Sihle's old lady. Sorry," he said, taking my hand off his pants and put it back on my lap. That's new, Karabo doesn't want me.

"Why are you saying sorry to me?" I asked him as I look at the front where important things are happening, feeling embarrassed about being not wanted.

"Because your sex date is postponed," he said, and I stared at him. He's like my personal assistance now, he knows everything in my life, is starting to suck.

"Does Sihle tell you everything?" I asked, again, turning my face forward.

"He is my friend, we talk. And I thought it would be a good thing for you, that the night has to be postponed,"  How is that a good thing? I thought to myself.