Freshman, a Diary | Completed

18. The First Time

May

Thursday

"Tshedza, are you okay?" Zinzi asked, waking me from my thoughts. I should have missed this day; I am in no position to hear anything the lecturers are saying. My boyfriend cheated on me and he hasn't talked to me since, and I had sex with a girl.

I spent my whole yesterday in bed as it was an election day, even lazy to go to vote. And here I was, waiting for Saturday which was supposed to be our special day.

"I'm good, Zinzi. I will be fine," I said, lying to her. "I'm sorry for the way I talked to you on Tuesday, I was just shocked." I finished.

"Come 'on you don't have to apologise, I came on you too hard. You are not a slut," she said, and we just chuckled coz we both knew that wasn't true, I am turning into a slut. "I just can't believe he will do that to you, I know what you did was wrong but going off with some girl, that's pure revenge. I never took Sihle for that kind of guy," she continued, and I just nodded "I will talk to Jabu," she finished.

"Are you guys okay now?"

"Sort of, at least we are back on talking," she said, and I felt happy for her. "Maybe he knows something about Sihle,"

After our lecture, Zinzi left with some girl to her class, I was hoping she will hang out with me before she leaves as it was break time, but she said she had to finish some work before class. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I walked to the computer lab just to print my assignment so that I can leave this hell of a place where everyone is staring at me. I just wanted to go to my place, I couldn't attend my other lectures.

I took my phone out, earphones in my ears and opened my playlist and turned the volume to maximum. I was just on my own world walking to my room with just the beating of my heart and loud music in my ears. I got off the campus and started walking to my place. Even when you are in your own world, you will always hear some mosquitoes buzzing around trying to enter your world, in my case, it was Rofhiwa. Now I regret even knowing her or signing for that society. Why does she have to be in every corner I find myself in.

"I've been calling you from back there, you shouldn't walk with your earphones in your ears you know," she said, catching up on me.

"I couldn't hear you," I responded.

"I called you like 100 times."

"Sorry," I said and looked at her, hoping she will tell me what she has been calling 100 times for.

"Are you done for the day?" she asked.

"Yeah. You?" I asked although I wasn't even interested in knowing her answer.

"I'm not, I will come back later," she answered.

"Okay," we walked together with no more words to share. I was still with my one earphone in, and the other was just hanging from my neck.

"So, you don't know Venda(place) at all?" she asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

"I do, I have been there a few times," I answered, and she smiled. We continued walking and talking, and I just couldn't wait to get to my place and be by myself.

We finally got by my place, she stays further, so she continued with her journey. We said our cheers and I quickly inserted my earphones in my ears, already avoiding anyone who would try to talk to me, including the building security guard.

As I was about to enter the elevator the moment it opened, Sihle was in it, about to walk out with a girl I didn't know. I couldn't tell if it was the girl from Tuesday night, but we both froze and just looked at each other as I stripped my earphones off.