Freshman, a Diary | Completed

14. The Ruin

May

Saturday

"Oh my god, oh my god, what have I done..." I chanted as I wander around while poor Henson kept on looking at me surprised.

"What happened? Who was that?" he asked, following me around.

"My sister's neighbour, I think I just ruin his relationship," I said, picking up my phone from the couch.

"What are you talking about?"

"I need to call my sister right now; she's going to kill me," I said, continuing talking to myself and leaving him just wondering what is happening. "Please pick up, pick up, pick up," I yelled as the phone continued to ring with no answer. "She's not picking up," I said to Henson, my face already messed up from the tears and the little makeup I wore earlier to impress Henson.

"Tshedza, calm down, just breath for a second," he said, and I realised I was holding my breath all along. I took a deep breath and let it out very loudly, and he was busy singing 'in' and 'out' like I was in labour. He held me and dragged me to the couch and sat me down while I continue to breathe in and out. "Are you okay now?" he asked after I finally caught my breath. I didn't have a voice yet, so I just nodded. "Okay. Can you now explain to me what is happening? Is your sister okay?" he finished while sitting next to me.

"She is fine. I just... I just told my sister...my sister's neighbour that her fiance cheated on her with my sister," I said with a crunchy voice, and Henson just stared at me like he doesn't understand the language I am speaking.

"I don't know if I understood what you just said," he said, wiping the tears off my face.

"I told Katie that her fiance cheated on her, with my sister," I repeated, and he looked at me shocked like he's disappointed in me.

"Why would you do that? These are grownups Tshedza, you don't do things like that to them," he said, and I realised he thinks I did it deliberately.

"I didn't know she was around she overheard me talking to him. I wouldn't have said anything if I knew she was there," I said, trying to clear my name. Not so good for my face though, I was already raining tears again.

"How do you know the guy cheated?"

"My sister told me."

"Your sister told you that? You were supposed to act like you don't know anything, that's how grownups act," he advised, and God did he not know he was just wounding me on the scar I have already opened to myself.

"So, you are saying I am a kid? I am not a grownup that's why I did it," I asked him already pissed off. He looked at me surprised, without any answer, so I stood up and walked to my room.

"Where are you going? that's exactly what kids do, they run away instead of standing for their mistakes," he said, and that just pressed the right button, it's even his fault I'm in this mess.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that, I'm not your girlfriend so stop acting as if you know me. And FYI, I'm not running away, I just can't stand you right now," I said and entered the room and closed the door.

I threw myself on the bed while I buried my face inside my hands, wishing I could just swallow it with my palm and disappear. I tried calling my sister again, but she was still not picking up the phone. I found myself just crying lying down without knowing what to do. Hoping I never came to visit, or Sihle's grandmother didn't die so we would be together now, probably having sex right now. How one thing can change everything. My sister's affair with her neighbour is something I should not have played with, Henson is right, I'm just a kid.