Wild Ride Into Light (BxB)

Chapter 42

Rick POV

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It's not until I get out of the car that I actually look at the other guy, as they're both facing me now, and I freeze. Oh my god. I thought I've got over him and doing good, but is this a new phase where I see hallucinations of him?

Because wow, I see Wilder Nichols in my front yard right next to Melvin, and he can't be here for real. It's in no way possible. Just how desperate am I?

Melvin comes to first, pushing Wilder away from him with a grimace and letting go, as if caught doing something wrong. Blinking my eyes, my slightly shaking hands go to the front pockets of my jeans but otherwise my body is ever so stiff from the shock.

Man, I'm acting like an idiot again. Wilder is the same as me, frozen still and wide-eyed and he looks a little scared, too, which is odd to see on him. But all I can think about, is how bewitched I am by him again, that it's like the first time I saw him in Aunt Marge's coffee shop.

When he moves slightly, all of us still having not spoken a word, I start to recover. Oh, okay, he's here. He is here. Alright, what do I do now? Say something, yes. Something, anything for this awkward, tense silence to stop.

"H-hi" I say, then wish with all I have that I don't flush outwardly as much as I do inwardly. Alright, what the hell? What's that stutter, what's wrong with the normal 'hi', you know? I'm such a fool.

"Hi" Wilder says back with a small, hesitant voice.

We both glance at Melvin, who groans and rolls his eyes.

"What, wanna me to leave ya alone with this deceiving jerk?" He asks me, and I nod without hesitation. I don't mean Wilder is a jerk, or deceiving. I might have thought bad of him a while ago, but that's not accurate. "Wow, okay then. Just because I'm getting cold, though. Good luck, Rick, just don't let him trick you twice and tell him to leave once he's done."

Once Melvin's gone back inside my house, Wilder and my eyes lock together.

"So, uh, how are you?" I query, shifting pressure from the heels to balls of my feet nervously, unable to stay still. Seeing this guy again makes me remember things I should forget, and act less mature than I am.

"I'm okay, you?"

"Good, I'm very good" I reply, maybe too quickly for it to sound convincing. I am doing good, right now I just don't know. I'm very confused. "What, what are you doing here? I mean, don't want to sound rude but...yeah, what's going on again?"

Wilder sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I, uh, needed to talk to you. It's important."

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"Why did you leave?" He asks lifting his gaze to meet mine, and I raise an eyebrow in disbelief. What right does he have to accuse me of that, of anything?

"Why did you?" I shoot back, then groan when he's having a silent moment again. "Look, you left with a clear message. I couldn't stay, it hurt so bad and even if I knew you, I liked you too much for that not to break my heart. I wasn't going to stay there for much longer anyway, so all's good."

"You loved me" he mutters, his cheeks turning pink as his downcast eyes are fixed on his drink.

"You- you, oh you know, do you, how do you know about that?" I stammer, taken aback with wide eyes. I refuse to believe I'd be blushing too as I think back on that time.

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"Okay, I forgive you. It is what it is. So, is everything all right now or what do you want me to do with this?"

"Oh, just one question. Why didn't you tell me I was in love with you?"

I almost choke on my own spit but manage to suppress coughing. Man, I already thought I survived with this brat but he's really going to be the end of me?

"What?" I ask and as he repeats the question, turn around to face him. He's so close I instinctively take a step back. The expression on his face can only mean he's serious. "Boy, if you didn't know, how the hell could I have known that?"

"Well, you should've known" he says accusingly, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Whatever, I didn't. I'm sorry you had to feel that way, nothing with feelings was my purpose on either side." Silence, which I break before it turns awkward. "So, you've had a long trip here. I'll just go prepare the guest room for tonight. When have you eaten last?"

"Rick, I'm...I still feel that same way" he blurts out, ignoring my change of subject. "And I-I want us to be together again. After, you know, getting used to each other again. We can start again as friends, if you prefer. It's -"

"Wilder, I can't" I say, cutting him off as I stab my own heart. I still have feelings for him, yes I do, but I can't. It's over, it has to be. "I can't do this. You left and now you're too late, there can't be anything between us. This ship has sailed, you and I not down that road again."

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