Amour | 18+

T H E R A P Y

         My mom decided that I needed to go back to therapy, she claims that if I don't get help then I won't get better. It's been three weeks and I haven't heard from Nicolas nor Faust, a part of me was happy but the other bigger part of me was sad.

Did I mention that Nicolas birthday was yesterday and I had already gotten him a stupid gift?

"How would you say your parents relationship affects your personal relationships?" My therapist, Rachel asked.

Rachel was a natural blonde, she had blue eyes, pale skin and the perfect life. With her lawyer husband and twin daughters who have both graduated from Harvard and are now studying to become doctors, their perfect.

"I would say that my mother has taught me that independence is key to life." I responded.

I know what she wanted to hear, she wanted me to spill all my feelings like it was easy for me.

"Independence? As in alone?" She asked.

I chewed harder on the small piece of gum I had in my mouth.

"When your alone you never get hurt."

"But is your mother really alone? I mean she has your father." Rachel writes down something in her notepad.

"Does she really have my father? I mean who knows." I said.

Rachel wanted to roll her eyes, I was just mocking her questions with more questions.

"Tell me about the alcohol."

My problem with alcohol started after I was sexually assaulted, when someone is on top of you taking your youth it changes you. I would say it made me change dramatically.

"Did something happen to make you pick up the bottle?" Rachel asks while writing something else down in her notepad.

"You know what, I forgot I have lunch with a friend." I stood up and grabbed my purse off the couch.

"Adora, you have lunch with a friend everytime we get to the alcohol part." My therapist stands up with me, she was looking at me with those puppy, sad eyes.

I don't want people to look at me like that, like they feel sympathy for me.

"Because I eat everyday." I snapped back.

I slammed the door behind me. Just thinking about Jakob makes me want to vomit, I felt it crawling up my throat. Once I got outside I threw up in the trash bin beside me, I couldn't stop the throw up. All the imagines flashed past me, more throw up spilled from my mouth.

After throwing up everything in the parking lot I made my way home, when I got there I noticed that Victoria's car was parked right outside. She's been coming over a lot lately just to check in with me. The smell of warm cookies hit me when I opened the door, I dropped off my purse and keys on the table.

Victoria and my mom were pulling cookies out the oven, I smiled softly.

"How was Rachel and the session?" Victoria asked.

"Oh she's great you know, saving lives of innocent lost girls." I said sarcastically.

My mom crossed her arms over her chest, Victoria mouthed something that I couldn't sound out.

"Adora, she said you left the session early again." My mom whips around the corner.

I rolled my eyes while leaning over the island to grab a cookie. "These sessions aren't helping me, I mean maybe if I could take a bottle of whiskey it'll make me spill all my dark secrets."

I laughed at my own joke but no one else seemed to think it was funny.

"Cricket I need you to meet me half way here, I am trying to reach out to you but you shut me out." My mom pleads.

I tried to walk away but my mom got in my way, she reached out to touch my shoulders but I backed away just in time.

"What don't you get? I'm broken and there's nothing no one could do to fix me." I shouted, angrily.

"Don't you say that, you are not broken." My mom shouts. "Your dad and I tried our bes-"

"Are you fucking joking?"

"Adora." Victoria warns me.

"You abandoned your daughter for a man, not only a man, my fucking uncle." I screamed.

"I waited for you at that ballet studio for five hours, I fucking waited while you were hopping on a plane to Italy with my uncle."

Everyone got quiet, my chest was heaving up and down from my sudden outburst. Her eyes filled with tears and she tried to form words but she couldn't.

"I've said sorry like a million times, I don't know what else you want from me." My moms voice comes out shaky.

I laughed at her, I swiped my arm across the table knocking down all the cookies they've just made, the glass broke all over the floor. I turned back around to look at her once again.

"Just do nothing like you've always done." I whispered.

I grabbed my keys off the counter and stormed off, Victoria chased right after me. I spirited even faster towards my car but Victoria quickly caught up with me.

"Where do you think you're going?" Victoria slams her hands on top of my car forcing me to turn around.

"Away from this damn house." I shouted.

"A, she's just trying to help." Victoria's voice softens.

"She's three years to late."

She didn't say anything, of course she didn't. What was she suppose to say? Her mom never abandoned her, her dad spends most his time with her, she has the perfect life.

I got in my car, she stands still as I pull out the driveway. I was going so fast, definitely passed the speed limit. I couldn't tell Victoria that her fiancée raped me because then I'll ruin her life and I love her to much to do that, I couldn't tell my parents because then they would be even more disappointed with me, I was trapped in a room with no windows.

My hand tightened around the wheel. My life is falling apart and I can't seem to pick up the pieces. I was sitting outside my dads office, his car was the only one parked in the lot. It took me a while before I got down but I eventually did.

I knocked on his office door, a women opened his door with smudged lipstick all over her chin and messy, bed hair. Her shirt was on backwards, she immediately realized who I was and tried hiding behind the door leaving a clear path of my dad buttoning his shirt. He looked up, panic filled his face.

"Adora, this isn't what it looks like." My dad says.

"I was- I was helping him file." The women stutters over her words.

I couldn't say anything, words formed but they wouldn't leave my lips. My purse fell, I quickly picked it up and started running almost tripping over the carpet. He didn't even try running after me, my feet carried me all the way to my car.

Once I got back inside my car I started to hit the steering wheel till my hands went numb.

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