Just This Much

21: Ring

"You do know this is really weird for me, right? Bro, are you on drugs or some shit?," he heard Gun exclaim from the other line, sounding very suspicious. He can't blame the guy for feeling that way though.

Kio sighed while checking out some Prada boots displayed on the racks. He can feel the presence of his manager and some of the sales staff meters away. Good, they knew he hates it when they follow him around when shopping.

"It's your fault I need to ask, in the first place. If you didn't leave me alone with her that night, then I shouldn't have owed her for taking care of me." Of course, he has to be in character and hide the fact that he actually likes what he's doing—buying a gift for Lilac.

"Come on! Who would've expected she will actually take care of you? She hates your guts. I thought she'll just leave you there alone to make a fool out of yourself."

"That's because she's not you."

What happened back then just proved something—either it's his world's Lilac or the parallel Lilac, there's one thing that she will always possess—kindness. Maybe that's what he needs to focus on, the common denominators between the two versions, so that he can stop dwelling on his guilt and finally fulfill his initial purpose for coming into this world.

"Ohoho... what is this I'm hearing, huh?," Gun suddenly taunted, "are we having a change of heart? Is the animosity you feel for my dear best friend finally starts vanishing from that contaminated brain of yours?"

"You know, I always wonder..." Kio then drawled, "why can't you use those big words in writing songs and rap verses, instead? Maybe that way, your boss will approve your submissions."

"Damn you, asshole. That's a low blow!"

He chuckled, "are you going to answer my question or should I just ask Soonho instead? It seems like he knew Lilac better than you."

"Are you kidding me?! I've known my best friend for more than fifteen years, of course I know her best!"

"Then answer the damn question. Christ, you're annoying." He plopped down the couch by the corner of the department store, and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

It's not like he didn't know what Lilac would love to get. Of course he knew, he was her boyfriend for almost three years and a close friend for a year prior. Yet he still ended up asking Gun because he can't help but feel a bit doubtful. He should not eliminate the possibility that her preferences may have changed in this world.

"She's into vintage shirts and bucket hats... yeah, she's pretty much obsessed with those. Rings as well, she's into Bvlgari rings nowadays 'cause I heard the brand's wooing her into being their ambassador. You know stuff like that, the girl is hella in demand."

He can't help but smile. There you go, still the same. Another proof that maybe, she really is still the Lilac he used to know. It was only her attitude and views in life that changed, because she experienced everything in this world differently.

She grew up here independently, that's why she learned to handle things all on her own. She gained the courage and confidence solely for herself, unlike in the other world where her growth depended on him. He guessed Lilac also realized how toxic their relationship was back then, the words written on her last letter can attest to that.

The way she asked him to let her go however that night ends. She knew she needs to stop depending on him and start facing the world alone so she could actually soar. She knew it was time for her to learn loving herself above all else.

Thinking of it now, he can't help but feel guilty once again. He was the one who trapped her. He was the one who entered her life unwarranted, messed it up and insisted to be a part of it, only to leave her broken and doubting her self-worth. What a fucking monster, he is.