Acrasia

Magoa.

            It has been days now. Sera's mother have us nothing when we summoned her. Only screaming and trying to fight Samael for failing her child. The child she never knew, yet wanted to supposedly sacrifice. With no other options, and with Sera's body needing to be laid to rest, we completed the preservation ritual to keep her from deteriorating until we can tether her to this body once again.

          I am suffering, grieving, starving, and so impossibly guilty. I should have tried to heal her instead of finishing her, now I risk never finding her again. If I had a heart, it would be broken. Instead I am entirely broken. Her scent, her energy, her memory lingers in this house and it haunts me. It makes me delirious. Like a bee drawn to a beautiful flower, only to be blocked by a thin windowpane. I can smell her, see her in my mind's eye, feel her, but I simply cannot have her. I have not fed since I fed from her upon her death.

           Samael, Barima and Axar look after one another. Samael not grieving, of course, but using Barima's state of sorrow to swoop in and get closer to her. Barima using all her unrequited love for the now gone Seraphine to smother and cling to Axar. Just as Sera would have wanted. And I, I remain in this room where I've holed up for the past few days with Sera's body. I wrapped her stomach and dressed her in a little nightgown. Grandfather had tried to get me to bury her, but I can't stand the thought of unworthy pests crawling about her body or dirt marring her beauty below the ground. She will remain here. A knock at the door gains my attention.

          "Nox? Can I come in?"

          "Yes. Just a moment." I get up to unlock the door for Axar, who pulls me into a one armed hug.

          "Eat. I brought you food." He sits a plate on the nightstand. "Your all black still. Are you alright? I mean physically,  I know you are missing her, I miss her too..." He swallows hard as he looks at her, on her side of the bed in her gown with blanket tucked around her. She was always complaining about being cold.

          "You can go see her, if you'd like." I know what he is wanting. He strides to her cautiously, kneeling by the bed and kisses her cheek.

          "Can Barima see her? She really misses her too." I want to be greedy a n.v d hog her from Barima's over adoring eyes, but I know how hurt Barima was at her passing. I won't let jealousy block her from Sera.

           "Yes, yes she may." On cue, Barima peers in with an armload of objects. I raise a brow at her.

           "Hey, Nox. How are you holding up?" Her eyes are pink and puffy as is the tip of her nose.

           "I'm here. I've seen much better days..."

           "Me too. I've been reading up, trying to find something helpful. Until I do, I brought this." She looks down at her armload of supplies. "When i was dead Sera bathed me. She styled my hair, dressed me, and made certain I was clean and looked after even though I wasn't in my body. I'd like to return the favor." A slight smile breaks into my face.

           "I seen that and my first thought as I seen your braided hair and cute pajamas, even the pillow under your head was that Sera had completely lost her sanity." I blink away punished tears.  "I'd like to help."

           "Here. Do the lotion. I'm not trusting you with nail polish." She softly smiles as she chucks lotion to me.

           I sigh at the scent. Smores. Chocolate. I remember Sera's longing look at the chocolates at work while she checked into her shift the day I had followed her. I don't miss the glittery dark green polish in Barima's hands either as I get to work lotioning Sera's curvaceous legs and toned arms. Axar and Barima each tackle a foot with polish, and Barima coaches him to perfect his work on each dainty toe. Once all her nails have dried, I lift her upper body up enough so that Barima can wash her hair in a pan of warm water and wipe away any dried blood on her body. We work in tandem to dry her hair so Barima can pin it into a soft updo. Barima kisses her cheek and then  bids me goodbye as she sulks out of the room in her misery. Axar remains, still trying to get me to eat the tray of food.

          "Sera would want you to eat. She never liked to see anyone hungry. You have to eat and stay strong for her. We can't find her without you."

          "I'll try, but I make no promises."

          "Nox?"

           "What?"

           "I had a dream last night, like a vision of Sera."

           "You did? Did you tell Barima?"

           "I did! Sera was walking on the highway, she seemed lost. Then she found a church and she said my name. She cried red tears into the fountain and then I woke." I debate telling him at first, but I finally relent.

            "She asked for you before she died. I read her mind, she was worried about your safety. That Yeomorah had gotten to you before he came to us."

             "Do you think that's why she said my name or why she was crying?" He whispers hoarsely.

              "Perhaps. Banhees also can have premonitions, Axar. Do you recognize the highway or anything around Seraphine in your dream?"

             "The highway sign! Oh, and the mile marker!" He rushes out of the room and I chase him as he retrieves pen and paper to jot down numbers and what he can remember.

             "Do you feel like a road trip? I will ask Samael and Barima to guard Sera's body while we scour the highway  for her." Please let her be there, somewhere. 

             "Yes! Taking the car?" I nod. I'm far too weak and vulnerable to expend the strength I have to teleport. I rush downstairs to brief Barima and she readily accepts the responsibility to watch Sera, slipping back upstairs to my room with her body. I know she will likely lay with her and talk to her just how they used to when Sera was living. Samael will likely not even peer in.

         I don't waste time thinking about him as I run to the car to find Axar waiting as I had assumed he would. The car comes alive and I speed off not wanting to lose any time in the event that Sera could still be lingering in that area. Axar tinkers with the radio and bobs his head to the music with his face pressed to the window glass. Once we get to the highway, I slow down, afraid to miss anything. It's a long stretch bbn of road and we drives miles before Axar whines from hunger and I pull off at a gas station to feed the ravenous growing kid quickly. We dart in and as he pillages the shelves of goodies, I focus on something else entirely.

          Sera's presence. The light scent of Sera is fragrant in this building. Smelling of fruits and florals from her favorite hygiene products and the slightly sweet scent of her hormones. I'd know it anywhere. My hair raises on my arms. I can feel the confusion faintly and fear that she had left behind. Perhaps she came here for help  before realizing she is dead. I all but shove Axar to the checkout and to the car, cracking windows so I can catch her scent as we creep on. We travel for miles and miles in circles without catching trace of her, until I see the church in the distance. Recalling Axar's dream, I set sight on the holy building and floor it. It's the only church I've seen so far, it has to be this one.

           Please be there. Please be there.