Acrasia

Slippery Slope.

      I've had Sera in my possession, literally and figuratively, for a week now. Night and day we tumble in those silky green sheets. In that time she has dropped some weight, and become more pale. I deduce that her iron must be low, so I've tried to hold off and feed her even more food.

      As I figured, I broke over and have drank from her again. It's dangerous,  yet convenient having her close. It's hard to restrain when I have an endless supply right there, but it's only endless if I ration it right. This is where the problem comes in. It's a slippery slope for me. The more I get the more I want. I've never been much on self control.

       It helps that she's so lovable. Her constant conversation and hugging make it easier to refrain from killing her. She asks me about my hobbies, interests, favorite things, even family and friends. I would never admit it aloud, but perhaps company and a fruitful bond could have been what was missing. I know it's wrong to play with your food, but she's a deep thinker. At times, she's even stumped me. Difficult,  considering I've long outlived her great grandparents and I'm wise in the ways of the world.

         This morning, we talk about Gods and religion. I chuckle at her theories and raise a brow at a few. I have mist the answers, but would never bestow them upon a petty human. Some of her thoughts stray close to a few truths and I wink at her as silent confirmation.

      "I mean, there has to be more than one God or Goddess. Who made them, how did they get here if there are no others. Also, if you go by christianity, one could argue that technically Satan is a God too. He was an angel, cast out, and come to be the technical 'ruler' of Hell. Does that make any sense? Am I rambling? I just have never had a friend or anyone to have actual conversations with. Justin would always scream if I talked too much."

      "It makes perfect sense to me. We all had to come from somewhere. Perhaps one day you could ask him yourself." I smile mischievously.

     "The devil? Are you going to kill me?" I drop my jaw. She got my insinuation, but I meant God. Why would she think she would go to Hell?

     "I meant God, but I was only joshing." I cover. "But, if you wanted you could see the Devil. Why though, do you assume if you died you'd go to Hell?"

      "I...I have always felt ignored by God. Vain, that I consider myself worthy of his attention among the millions also suffering, but I once prayed so hard. I've not lived a righteous life either. I've been jealous, ungrateful. Sinful. I even stole once when I was living with dad. I would no doubt split Hell wide open if I died soon." I take this in for a moment to process. "How could I see the devil though? You speak in so many riddles. What are you, Nox?" She takes my hand and looks to me for an answer.

      "Not vain of you. You only wanted the love you have Him, reciprocated. You tried your best to live right, but self preservation kicked in. Natural. You stole a sleeve of everything bagels. You were starving. Your father wasted the money and ate at his girlfriend's house, never stopping to being or buy food for you at home. For the later, what do you think I am?"

      "You are...well. I'm not certain. I know it's not human. I've seen your eyes, stature, horns, claws. I know you've drank my blood. Sometimes I remember it, and other times my mind feels like fog. I feel like half my life is missing. I thought vampire, but the horns threw me off. So did the mind control stuff though..."

       "Vampire?" I can't help but laugh. All in all, not a terrible guess. "No. I could see where you could draw that conclusion, but no. Try incubus." Her mouth makes an 'O' shape as she smiles.

      "That makes sense! Now, I have to ask, what are we? How old are you Noxodius?"

       "Ah. Simply put, we are master and pet." Her eyes water a bit, but what purpose is there to lie now? Obviously her mind will deteriorate over the next few years with me. She can't leave, nor complain.  I can control her mind at will, and feed off her suffering as well. If anything she gives me more energy to glut this way. I don't care.

       "So you never took care of me? We were never a couple? You've lied the whole time, and you've made jokes about killing me all day. You lied about those too, let me guess? It was never a joke. I'm the only joke here." She bolts up from the table, not touching her food and I don't pursue her. I hear the room furthest from mine open and I hear her lock herself inside. I shrug. She'll come crawling out when her pitiful human body craves water and nourishment. She can't hide forever.

        I read from my books, as hours pass and I occassionally hear her moving. I can feel her energy, so I don't bother to read her mind. I imagine she's making herself a separate room, as if she could refuse me. I scoff outloud at the idea. The shuffling and door sounds continue, and soon all is quiet again. I pay no mind to her until I begin to feel a familiar craving stir. She's eaten fine, except for today. In theory a small bit of blood shouldn't hurt her. I can pad it with energy, and take away the past few hours from her. She'll be at my feet like a kitten again. All childish outbursts forgotten. 

         "Sera, you can stop with this foolish pouting now. Your master is hungry. I'm coming up the stairs. You can come out of that room willingly, or I'll destroy the room and you with it. Come out pet. Come out now." I call loud enough for her to hear me. I near the room I heard her in last, breaking the door down to scare her. A sheer, cream panel undulates in the wind as my eyes widen. No. No. No she did not. I flock to the window where I spot the silky green sheets knotted and brushes the grass below. I keep good on my promise to destroy the room.

        Entering my own I discover what she had been up to. The clothes she wore earlier litter the floor, she took nothing. Not a thing I had gotten for her. The necklace lay on the dresser where her purse and old outfit once sat, but now both are gone. She wore her own clothes. Symbolic really. She took her own things, even her empty purse. Why bother? Only several cents and three ones resided in the billfold.

      I hurry out the door in a frenzy, trying to follow her scent. I trail her down the road a piece, before it nearly vanishes. Her phone! That's why she wanted the purse. She could call a cab service, this close to city limits. Something aches in my chest and it urges me to follow her. I write it off as hunger. I was hungry before, and I am more so now. I got coddled by the live in food supply. I refuse to chase her. Let her starve. Let her suffer her miserable life without me. She'll call to me. She'll grieve the nice things and good food she had here but turned down for her pride.

        I'll find another. One prettier than her. There are women I pass everyday who would kill to earn my bed. They throw themselves at me every outing I make. I storm back into my house and return to my book. Upon finishing it, I busy myself with another. The house is silent, peaceful just as it always had been before her. I find myself bored though and I roam restlessly about my home, desperate for entertainment or distraction from my hunger. I go to bed to lie there and listen to some records, but I leap up in a huff. Her scent covers all my bedding now. The restlessness is unbearable now. I make up my mind to go to the city.

         "You are going to be sorry, Seraphine. So, so sorry."