Acrasia

Faith.

*Seraphine's POV*

I stare down at him in disbelief. Why was it so damn hard for him to believe me? After his little speeches lately I thought we were past this. Still, he cannot seem to trust me or see my value. Still, I had predicted this. Livienne never thought to block her mind from me during our hallway encounter where we were partially alone. So I decided to go with it, but to give her more fight than she bargained for.

"You are always worthy. Always have been. Always will be." He holds my foot around my ankle and caresses my leg. I look up and blow a tendril of hair out of my face. It's hard to stomp him like I had planned on doing. My emotions and hormones are all over, conflicting one another as I stare down at him.

"All that talk earlier. All that praise, and it was all fabricated. That hurts. I really thought that you meant it."

"I mean everything I say."

"You're actions and words are paradoxical."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. Just stop. It's not a bandage. You can't just say and do whatever you feel like and just rely on an apology to magically fix everything."

"You would rather I not apologize?"

"I'd rather you treat me in ways that don't require apologies."

He never seems bothered by the temperature or weather, but I move my foot and help him up from the wet ground. He tries to hold me, but I refuse to hold him back. I'm too upset.

"I left as soon as they started insulting you. I couldn't tolerate it. She stood there and lied right to them, right infront of me after I seen and heard everything." He tries. I simply shake my head.

"Because she knows that they will never accept me. They only tolerate me because what I carry, and because Nomias is probably perverted. I honestly think he's planned on my dying this whole time. That woman told me she had threatened me before to you. And STILL you fucking defended her! Had I not exposed her to you, you still would have."

"She was before you. I've already stated that I made a mistake. What would you have me do?"

"Nothing. Just like you did back there. Go back to your family, and let me do what I need to do."

"What are you up to? I'm not going back there."

"You aren't coming with me. I'm not telling you. I am not even going to tell my own family. I can't trust anyone at this point. You all shouldn't have to risk yourselves because of me. It's my issue, I will solve it on my own. Livienne can be strong and needed all she wants to be, but at the end of the day so am I. Only I'm not going to rely on somebody else's man to save my ass."

"I am coming with you. End of discussion." I glower at him. I feel such a need to prove myself. I'm tired of being out cast and mocked. Viewed as weak and expendable. I want to redeem myself, save myself. I want my son to grow up proud of his mother, the underdog, just as much as he will his father.

"I'm going alone. You just stay here and keep them off my ass." He tries to grab me and I dodge him.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier-"

"I know. That little pep talk was pure bullshit. Don't worry, because soon you will."

"Not that. I meant that I meant-"

"Every word of that part. Don't worry, you'll stand corrected shortly." I snap back. I can feel his misery, and I do what I can to block him out. It hurts me to hurt him, but I have to do this. I have to show him I am capable and a force of my own. I have to show him that he can't walk on me.