What if I ain't no violinist?

8. Twoset Football Talent

A/N: This is a trilogy and continues to Twoset Football Talent II and Twoset Football Talent III.  I've since written more chapters and the whole lot has been compiled into a separate 9 chapter book called "Twoset Football". 

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"Belle..."

"I'm telling you, Brett, I know I'm only telling you this for the first time in all the years I've known you as a friend so you might not believe me,  but really, he is talented."

Brett closed his eyes in an attempt to stay calm as he proceeded to talk into his phone.

"Belle, do you have any idea how many times I've had people tell me how talented their brother, boyfriend, son, husband, nephew, whatever, is ?? "

"Oh c'mon Brett, pleeeeease ? Just come and have a look at him. I'll buy you dinner the next time we catch up."

"...so what position does he play?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Oh! Well, he's not a goalie, so he's one of the other ten guys, you know."

Brett rolled his eyes as he snarled.

"Hey, I know that noise!! You're rolling your eyes aren't you ?."

"Yes, Belle, I am rolling my eyes so much they hurt. How the f*ck am I supposed to talent scout this so-called talented brother of yours if you don't even frickin' know what position he plays ??"

"Damn it, Brett, how the heck am I supposed to know what position my brother plays?? Isn't that your job to suss out ??"

"It isn't about sussing out !! He should already have a position! Hasn't he ever told you he is an MF, a midfielder? Or one of the backs, like a centre-back, full-back or wing-back? No? Well, maybe he calls himself a defender, no? Cr*p, look, does he shoot a lot of goals or does he run a lot to bring the ball towards the goal or does he stay near his own goal ?"

"What? Brett, I honestly don't know. I thought the other 10 guys just did the same thing. Don't they just take turns shooting the ball ?"

*Splat*

"...Brett, did you just face palm yourself.?

"Yes, Belle, I did. Because my eyeballs have left their sockets and are rolling around on my office floor now. My jaw is also on the floor. I've got nothing left."

"Look, I don't like soccer and I haven't been very fond of my brother for the last several years either, okay? So I've never gone and watched him play."

"YOU NEVER WHAT !??"

"...Ooops, that's not good is it"

"OF COURSE IT'S NO BLOODY GOOD! How the f*ck do you even know he's any good then ?? A talented 19-year-old football player in Brisbane, you say.  If he really was talented, of all the agents in Australia, I would have heard of him. I represent about a third of the national team for crying out loud! In fact, EVERYONE in my industry would have heard of him and we'd be all fighting over him !! He'd be a star player in a well-known youth team and we'd be bidding for a sign-up, prepping his transition from youth to mens. So he's not even in any local football club right? I've never heard of an Eddy Chen, EVER. F*ck, if he was a real talent, even if he was located in some whoop whoop town in Western Australia and I would have flown over there in a heartbeat!!"

"I told you, he's been training in Taiwan for the last few years and just got back home for good in time for Christmas!! So that's why you and your people have never heard of him!!"

"FINE, I'll come and see your brother, but I'm only doing this as a favour for you as a friend, Belle. Please don't even tell him I'm coming and for the love of god please don't expect anything because most of these things just flop and I don't want to face either of you disappointed, okay? Now will you please excuse me, I gotta go and pick up my eyeballs and jaw."

"Okay, okay, fine. I know you're cranky when you're trying to be funny. So it's at 10 am, okay? I'll text you the address of the oval later! Thanks, Brett, you're the best."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye."

Brett grunted as he hung up his phone.

Brett was a football talent scout agent.

He was cranky but knew it wasn't really because of Belle.  Now he felt bad for yelling at his friend.  He started a text.

Brett > Hi Belle, sorry about before. I was cranky because your call reminded me of a couple of prospects I saw a few weeks ago, both were complete flops, soooooo out of shape. Like I get it that it's Christmas and all, but really, so unprofessional. But that's no excuse to go off at you, so I'm sorry. About tomorrow, just send me the oval name and suburb, I ought to know most ovals in Brisbane.

Belle > Hey Brett, no worries, I've known you long enough to know what you're like. You're a professional, I get it. Well, at least my brother looks like he is in top shape. Wouldn't even eat his rice with mum's kung pao chicken yesterday, said he was "regulating his carbs intake". Hope he won't disappoint you. You may not know the location, Sunny Park in Morrisville. It's a tiny park.

Morrisville?

Brett quickly googled the local park and was mortified to have found a teeny tiny patch of green on his google map, about a quarter of the size of a full football field.

Brett > Belle, just what exactly is your brother planning to do there tomorrow?

Belle> He teaches soccer there.

Brett > You mean coaching? That's great! Which team?

Belle > Ya, he teaches the local Mandarin speaking pre-schoolers.

"...I'm so f*ckin' done"

Brett doesn't even bother to reply to Belle's last response and tossed his phone onto his desk.

To be continued to Twoset Football II...