𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 [𝐌.𝐌]

-XXXV-

(Check out just a fling, I know I said this before but it's really good! And if you want me to make any covers for your books or even profile themes please just DM me. The book is by Killiked )

As soon as Amber left, Marshall was in a state. Delphine, was there to clarify that. When with Hailie, or out on stage he'd always put on a brave face, a face that tells the world that there was nothing wrong with him. And for a while, there wasn't. He had been acting like nothing was wrong, for such a long time that he started believing that it was the truth.

But the truth was, he was collapsing, he was crumbling. Like a lost child, calling out for help, that's what he was.  But who would help him? Every woman he'd ever liked, had left him one way or another. Amber was no different.

They stayed in contact at first, and things weren't so bad, but then they both got very busy and they didn't even drop each other a text. At that point, Marshall was taking ecstasy before he went on stage, he was taking Valium so he could sleep at night. He was in the worst place possible, for someone like him at least.

Pills were no longer discretely hidden in the cabinet, they were littered all over his bedroom. It was a tragedy really, but Marshall knew if he ever said anything to Amber she'd only blame herself. So he chose to stay quiet about the whole situation.

There were times where he passed out, well he passed out most times. Always thinking about what a mistake this was, but he couldn't care any less about himself. If Hailie wasn't alive, he would be dead, that was just a fact. His love for Hailie was the only human part of himself left, the rest Slim Shady had taken away from him.

He remembered that one day especially, a year or so after Amber had left. He was doing a concert, in Detroit that day. The stage was being set up, and Marshall was getting changed into what he was wearing for the concert. He was putting on a yellow shirt, and black pants. Nothing too weird, he was alone in the room at his own request, he didn't want anyone in there right now.

He looked at the table, D-12 had been in here before him. They'd left their cigarettes scattered amongst other things on the table. Marshall picked up a labled bottle, ecstasy. Of course he'd heard of ecstasy and it's effects, maybe he should give it a go? It'd probably give him more confidence, and make him more lively on stage.

He didn't take too many on his first try, only a couple pills. It's not like he'd never used drugs before, he often smoked weed, and used shrooms even more so that Amber had left. The pills quickly gave him a rush of adrenaline, thoughts of Amber quickly simmered away. He was ready to perform.

"So that's what happened huh?" Amber said, as they sat down on the waiting chairs in the hospital. He slowly nodded, "I should of told you, I'm sorry I really am!" He said, clutching her hand, but Amber didn't clutch it back.

"I can't forgive you right now, you should of said something. I thought you trusted me." She said after they were safely out of the hospital. The kids had cried, but they were quite calm now. Thank god for that.

"Please." He almost begged, if she didn't say anything in a minute she was scared he would get down on his knees in the middle of the street or something. "Only if you promise to stop Marshall, that means throwing out all the pills and everything." She sternly said, pushing the pram forward a bit more now. They were approaching the front door now.

"Fine, I'll throw them away as soon as we get back. Happy?" He asked her, to which she nodded smiling a little bit now. If Marshall could move on from this, everything would be fine. She just had to trust him, and she could do that.

Marshall went upstairs once they had arrived back. While Amber was taking the twins out of the pram, he grabbed all the pills in the house. The ones in the cabinet, the ones in his locked drawers and the ones under his bed. He loomed over the trash can, he had at least ten pill bottles in his hands, all he had to do was drop them. He'd be free from it all, he'd be fine. Marshall couldn't do it. Getting rid of the one thing that had held him together over the past few years was too difficult to discard.

He took the risk, and threw three out of the eleven pill bottles into the trash. If he knew Amber well enough she would check the trash for the pills. The remaining nine pill bottles, he tucked safely to the bottom of the now locked drawer.

If Amber found out about this, he knew she'd go ballistic. But that's why he had to hide them. He quickly took one pill of Valium and headed downstairs like nothing had happened.

"Are they in the trash?" Amber absentmindedly said, noticing him enter the room. He nodded, he felt guilty inside but he couldn't let that show. "Marshall can you watch the twins? I'm going to go pick Rose and Hailie up." He smiled, picking them both up, and tickling them playfully.

Smiling, Amber walked out of the door. What did she have to worry about? Everything was going to be just fine, Marshall had gotten rid of the pills, and he was going to lead a healthier lifestyle.

Marshall leaned back, he had two babies and two bottles in hand. This was so painful, holding his arms in the position to feed two twins at once. If only he had tits, it'd probably be easier.  The Valium hadn't taken much of an effect, then again he'd only taken one pill.

The room was a little blurry, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He put the twins back in the prams, he felt tired. He hadn't properly slept in a while, but it was probably just the Valium making him feel like this. He couldn't sleep now, Amber would probably scream at him if he was asleep while watching the kids. But that didn't mean he couldn't just shut his eyes for a minute or so..

"Marshall what the hell?" Amber said, slapping his face, "you were supposed to be watching the kids, not sleeping." He quickly stood up, how long had he been asleep for? Thankfully the kids were alright. "Sorry.. I haven't been sleeping well lately." He said, pouring himself a glass of water.

"Well you'll be able to get better sleep now you're off the pills." She quietly said to him, making sure the girls couldn't hear. He nodded, gulping guiltily once she'd turned around.