red tears [hawks x femreader]

ೃ⁀➷free therapy

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"I'm pregnant with Hari's child".

You stared him in the eyes as he did the same, you squinted a but trying to understand what was going through his brain. You were a vigilante, you were in a heroes house as was your unborn child; who's father was a villain. Life was messed up in all different ways for you, and Hawks probably wasn't even sure how to comprehend what he'd just been told. 

HAWKS POV

'There is a pregnant woman in my house, she's tried to kill me, I'm assuming while she was pregnant. The fathers a villain and has just been killed right in front of  the mother. Holy shit.' I leaned over to the broken girl as i embraced her into a hug, her hand yet again went straight down to her stomach. How will she cope; assuming she had gained all of her natural income from villainy.. she couldn't possibly get any money with a baby. 

"I know what you're thinking. How would I pay? Listen here I'm not completely alone, I have a friend who said he'd take care of me and the baby. He has the money to do so." She spoke. Her voice was much more calm, less feisty; less agitated then when we were fighting. It was a voice I really could listen to all day every day. 

"I get that. But- I'm assuming he's a villain What if he gets caught". I stared her down. I know i was prying into her life a little too much for someone she'd only met while trying to fight. She needed a plan, she couldn't just live her life without knowing how she'd let the baby and herself live.  "He has a family, they're heroes and they'd most definitely  lock me up. However I'd ask them to care for my child" 

She was explaining to me like she wasn't going to give away to some random family. Some family that would probably mistreat the kid because they knew the kid had come from a villain, she couldn't leave her own child in a position like that. "Listen. y/n. I'm only offering because I'm nice and all. But- if need be I'll look after you and the baby", I smiled. Maybe it was extremely wrong to look after a vigilante and her child, perhaps it was the most stupid idea I'd ever had but it was definitely worth trying. 

NATURAL POV

You sat up and walked over to his window. you glanced out of it and stared passionately into the abyss that was the world. It was definitely a screwed up place for you but you were used to it. He'd asked you if you wanted his help, and as much as you needed it, you really didn't want it. Your father had taught you to be an independent woman. To never ever let anyone be in your debt and to instead have everyone on your leash. You were meant to be a power tyrant. You were meant to NEVER have children unless they were to be guaranteed to be successful . 

You weren't even sure if keeping the baby was the right idea. You would never get any income if the baby was around, you could make your father proud and be the most powerful woman in the world. He'd finally love you, he'd finally be proud. 

"Father, why do you need me to be powerful?" You sat down in the middle of your nursery as your fighting instructor had just left. "You were made to be a machine. I payed for you to be a machine and i staked a lot of money on you being the most powerful woman in the world". He knelt down and smiled to you. "Why father? Why woman, why not most powerful person" He laughed a menacing laugh in response to your statement. "Dear..you could never surpass the men, you're a woman. 

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You then heard a sweet voice mutter a question that you didn't exactly want to answer. "What's your story?" He said. His eyes were narrowed onto your body and he held his head in his hands. You slowly paced yourself to sit back next to him. "How do you mean?" You then gave him a glare and finally took a sip of your black coffee. 

You really were about to spit out the truth to a hero. You needed to, usually you'd tell Hari and Dabi; Hari was dead now and you left Dabi in a strop last night, plus even though you despised most heroes, Hawks had something different about him.. a different kind of aura that just made you feel comfy and warm. You feel like he deserved to know everything about you. He sort of did, he could've had you arrested by now.. though something gives you the impression he wouldn't arrest a pregnant woman, villain or not. 

"I was born to a very powerful man, Osore L/n", Hawks eyes widened. Of course he'd known this guy. he was extremely feared across the whole of Japan if not, the world. They'd had him killed a few years ago, maybe 9 or 10. "He killed my mother when i was around the age of four. He had no remorse about it, though. He only bred with her so he could create me". Hawks was thinking of Quirk Marriages, it was something that made him sick to his stomach. 

"...and before you ask, it wasn't for my quirk. My quirk was just an accident that wasn't meant to happen". His eyes furrowed in confusion, why would someone breed with another if not for a quirk?, "He was planning on having me the most powerful woman in the world, only woman of course because i couldn't compare to the men of this world." His breath hitched, "He was planning on using me as a weakness that every man had. He was to use me as a sex machine, to have these very incriminating people pay to do things to me before i killed them in private". Then Hawks understood why he'd used your mother. 

"He only bred with my mother because she was beautiful. He needed me to be as sexually appealing as possible. Despite all this, he was the only person who actually cared, who actually wanted me to become something. He had a dream for me and nobody else had." 

Hawks then embraced you. He picked you up and held you in his arms like a child. He was trying to comfort you as he broke you some extremely hard news that you probably didn't want to hear. "That's not love, y/n. It never was and it never will be" Your eyes widened as your head tilted down in shame. "Have you ever felt love, real love?" He asked as he whispered in your ear. "Hari....I loved him and now look. I have my best friend in the whole world who I love greatly". 

"That's not romantic y/n. You won't like me saying this, but you have been lying to yourself your whole life. Your concept of love is fucked. Someone needed to show you it but when they did they left". You jumped down out of his arms and shouted at him. "Do you not think i KNOW Hari is dead. I just watched him die! You can't tell me my concept of love is fucked when this whole world is twisted and fucked. HE LOVED ME AND HE'S DEAD NOW. From your logic it's the only real love I've ever felt so WHY. Why would you, A HERO. Why would you tell me that my feeling are fucked. NEWSFLASH for ya! I- I'm pregnant with a dead mans child, and you've got the audacity to tell me that my life is fucked. Fuck you!" You ran out of his apartment and walked your way to your office.

The snow was sticking to the ground as some fell on your hair and your eyelashes. You were a mess and you didn't care because you were pissed. Your brain couldn't leave the idea that you'd never felt any love. A small part of you wanted to believe his words. You couldn't though, what had you been doing your whole life if you hadn't felt love other than from a man who'd just died.

What if he's right, what if I'm doomed to never feel love. What if I'm doomed to never be loved at all?

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a/n; sorry i took so long to upload. Schools an ass and i have online work to do, as well as live my life.. oh AND TYSM FOR THE VOTES AND READS. MAN 200 READS ALREADY IS ITHFWOISER. frfr im extremely thankful. i hope u enjoy :)