red tears [hawks x femreader]

ೃ⁀➷black heart, black keys

❦

His apartment was warm, like a cabin in the middle of the woods. His personality seemed to beautifully match this; the way his eyes shone, or the way he ruffled his hair. It reminded you of the kind of charm that Hari had, it was something you really liked when talking to a person. 

It was midday, you hadn't left his apartment since you'd wound up at his door a few hours ago. The sky was starting to darken and your eyes began to get heavy. Regardless of you pretty much being a stranger to him; he refused to let you do things yourself. He didn't want to risk you any kind of harm. You were pregnant- you weren't immobilised. You both sat on the sofa in his living room. It was long and it have curvature to it; it was probably very expensive.

Something about the sofa gave you a huge wave of nostalgia. It didn't make you want to cry or anything though. Yes- this was the living room that you witnessed Hari's death in, but it didn't give you any negative emotions. You hadn't quite accepted the fact that Hari will never come back yet.. but you were slowly healing and knowing you could find warmth in a place that brought you so much trauma cancelled out any negativity. 

"y/n.. you came here to ask about-" The conversation you were having took a different direction now that he asked that question. You weren't one to need help from others so you weren't sure how anything would work. "yeah. I really need help since i don't know the first thing about children", You explained. 

He left out a sigh. You weren't completely sure what it meant, you were usually so good at deciphering human emotions but with him, alike Hari, if you even tried to read him- you just couldn't. "I want you to move in with me. Please, i can only be completely sure you and your baby are okay if you come under my roof" He spoke softly. He didn't sound scared or worried; like he knew you'd say yes. 

You, however- weren't sure if it was the best idea. "You know i work with villains, people who visit your place are bound to be confused as to why a vigilante is living here" You had a strong point. You weren't sure if you could do your job with a human inside you, but you still wanted to not get caught out. "Nobody except me knows your real identity, right? If that's the case then you'll be fine. I'd just introduce you as my girlfriend" You were angry. Angry may have been an understatement actually.  "NO! Do you not remember when i tried killing you because you let the whole of the japan think i was in a relationship with you? What hint aren't you taking, im. not. interested. in. you" 

❦

Despite your sudden outrage on him, Hawks kept you in his apartment for hours and hours. The man expected you to live with him so it made sense that he'd want you to become familiar. It saddened you almost, you'd never had friends other than Hari, or Kai and Dabi... They all had other occupations. To find love, it was a difficult thing for you to achieve. You weren't social, and your parent's couldn't raise you the way every other person's parent's do. You were trained to read humans like they were puzzles, you were supposed to figure them out then dispose of them. You'd seen on television, friends were meant to laugh and have fun. Through your office window you often watched people walk by with their friends. The kind of friendships you'd never experienced. 

'When I see you, it's as if space and time become the finest point imaginable, as if time collapses into one tiny speck and explodes at light speed. It's as if my universe begins and ends with you. I could run forever, search forever, but in the end, every path leads right back to your heart and soul. I love you, always.'  

It's how your mother described love. You weren't sure what it felt like or what it looked like, no matter how many movies she'd show you- you couldn't grasp the idea of it. Her and your father never displayed it, your mother was barely able to see you because your father had her experimented on. So you were lead to believe that you father 'loved' you. Until you met Hari; who told you your father didn't love you, much alike Hawks did. 

You were so lead to convince that everyone who'll ever love you; would leave you. It was proving to be true. The angel of death must hate you, because she wanted to mow down every person your heart flutters around- every person who makes you feel all warm inside. 

Your grandma had planned to take you out for ice-cream. You'd never tried it before and you really had the desire for it. When you left her in the living room to go and change your clothes- you heard a scream that pierced your heart. You stumbled down the stairs...When you managed to get close enough to see her face you froze. Her eyes were more wild than a deer caught in a trap. There was nothing beautiful about her. Her feet were 3 inches off the ground, and blood trickled down her neck and into her jump suit. The only thing stopping her from plummeting face down on the ground was a spear. Around the hilt of the weapon the blood was dry and hard, but still the red liquid drizzled down the girl's face like rain on a window.

The things you'd seen.. you'd watched your grandparents face such horrible deaths. You'd witnessed and caused your own mothers death. Your father was sent away to death row, as was your lover Hari- Overhaul was brutally murdered by your best friends villain group. Your best friend had a girlfriend to look after. You were experimented on for days and days. You even bleed for your eyes. But him- When you were around him you forgot it all. 

Crazy huh? You couldn't understand why. These things- scare the living daylights out of you, they've made you cry your bloody tears beyond belief. Despite that- one single man had the charm to make you forget those things. As if your life wasn't all too bad.  

"Take these keys- y/n" He stared into your e/c orbs. He softly placed them in your hand and then leant back. "It's to this apartment, i want you to stay- and i mean it."

You closed your eyes and sighed. "Can i at least say goodbye? To my old home and whatnot" He nodded and swept you into a huge hug. "You're safe here- i get you've been through some things. If you need a therapist.. I'll be one for you- kay?"

❦

"Slowly, with many lost days, I come back to life."