Wasn't Expecting You

Could never love you like you needed

The building in front of me was not what I had pictured at all. When I think prison, I imagine a large ugly grey building with concrete walls surrounded by large sturdy gates and barbed wire. Threatening and intimidating.

I suppose that's how many high security facilities were, but the building in front of me was nothing like that. It's lush green gardens reminding me more of a college campus than a prison. It seemed too nice for people who had done the wrong thing too many times.

I thought I might have felt something arriving here. I didn't. I was completely disconnected. It didn't matter that this is where my mother died, or had been the last year. It all meant nothing, I felt nothing. Did that make me a bad person? Or just one who had been hurt too many times to care anymore.

Sophia stayed at the hotel while Joey drove me to the facility. We were here to collect what was left for me and go.

"You ready to do this?" Joey asked, taking my hand.

"Yeah. In and out. Get what we came for and go," I smiled reassuringly.

We walked hand in hand up the winding path to the reception area, neither of us talking. There wasn't much to say that either hadn't already been said or would make this day any easier.

We walked through the double doors where we were immediately met by security. They asked us to remove any items from our pockets, waved a wand over us, scanned our ID and just for good measure, made us walk through a body scanner. We were then directed to a desk with a staff member behind a Perspex screen.

"Name?" She drawled out like we had interrupted her day with our presence.

"Ah my name?" I asked, confused.

"Yes dear. You need to have a booking to see an inmate, do you have a booking?"

"Oh, no sorry. Um, I'm just here to pick up some belongings. My mother died."

"Oh my apologies," she said genuinely, suddenly changing from the bored attitude. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be," I snorted.

The woman looked at me with wide eyes, glancing between Joey and I, opening her mouth to speak but then thinking better of it as she fingered through the lists on her clipboard.

"What was your name dear?" She asked quietly.

"Morgan Walters."

She nodded while scanning down whatever paper she had in front of her, stopping I assume when she found my name.

"Just give me a moment," she said before leaving the front section of the office and going behind a partition wall. I watched as she asked a colleague something and then went to another office.

"You could have at least pretended to care babe, I think you scared her," Joey said disapprovingly and I scowled at him.

"I don't want to be here and I'm not going to pretend like I do."

"Im just saying, try not to take your anger at your mom out on innocent people," he tries again and I realise he is right.

"I'll apologise when she comes back," I muttered.

"Here you are Miss Walters, it's not much but this is all that we have for you," she said handing me a brown envelope.

I had expected maybe a box of belongings, instead I have an envelope that feels like it doesn't contain much at all.

"Um, thanks," I say, accepting the envelope. "I'm sorry for my attitude before too, my mother and I... well there were issues. I shouldn't take that out on you though."