Wasn't Expecting You

The Past

"Let me start at the very beginning," I started to tell him. Taking a sip of my tea.

"You and I had very different lives growing up. I just hope you can understand and accept that. I'm not saying you wouldn't have had your challenges, but they would have been very different to mine," I needed him to know this. I guess I wanted to know if he was going to back out now, decide I wasn't good enough for him or his family.

"Morgan, where you came from, the way you grew up doesn't matter to me, except for the fact it made you who you are today. You can't scare me away," he said gently.

"Ok," I took a deep breath.

"Well my mom was never really stable. But when my dad was alive, he kept her somewhat grounded. She always had issues, starting when I was born. Post natal depression turned to alcoholism and eventually a drug addiction. At first it was anything over the counter and eventually she was seeking out stronger prescription drugs. Dad would try to help her, while also raising me and holding down his job. As I got older I began to understand some of what was happening. I understood that she blamed me. They thought they could hide it from me," I took a breath, finishing my tea and placing it on the side table.

"That's a lot for an kid to understand," Joey said.

"Yeah, it was. I interrupted her and my dads perfect little world, my dad loved me unconditionally, I never felt the same love from her."

We repositioned on the bed, Joey pulling me into his side so he could hold me while I spoke.

"When my dad died, everything got worse. She became dependent on drugs even more, but not just prescription drugs anymore. I came home from school when I was 12 to find she had overdosed on heroin. Imagine calling 911 at 12 years old because you found your mother frothing at the mouth?"

"Shit Morgan. Is that why you went into foster care?"

"Yeah it is. I was placed with Helen and Craig. For three years I lived with them, their daughter Grace and another boy younger than me, Harrison. A few other kids came in and out too, but never for more than a few months. They were amazing, I really felt like I had a family with them."

"Why did you have to leave them? Couldn't you have stayed till you were 18?"

"I wish. During those three years my mom tried to get clean. She went to rehab and we all thought she was better. She even acted like she wanted to be my mother for the first time in my life. Naively, I believed her. By the time I was 16 she had relapsed. But by then I was already so used to caring for myself and for her that I stuck it out. I worked a lot. I saved my money and hid it from her. Otherwise there's no doubt she would have stolen it and blown it on drugs. I had a little from my dad, it was in a trust for college that my mom wasn't able to touch and covered tuition. I bought my car, everything else I have is because I worked hard and kept my grades up to make sure I got into college and out of that town."

"Wow Morgan, I would have had no idea you had it that bad. But it makes sense why you are so focussed on school and didn't want any distractions."

"Yeah, then some cocky blue eyed boy came along," I looked up at him, finding him already watching me.

"And you just couldn't resist my charm," he said smugly.

"Something like that," I laughed.

"I learnt to be resilient, I had ways to distract myself, some I'm less proud of. I spent time at Ali's and when her parents were sick of me, senior year I had a boyfriend and I'd go there. I was hardly at home, so I didn't have to deal with Mom. When school finished and I got in here, I was determined that this was my fresh start. I packed up literally everything I owned and when I left, I never had any intention of going back. Mom hardly even noticed I left. She's never tried to contact me since I've been here."