It's Complicated - H//S

Chapter 60

1st trimester - 10 weeks

*Leah's PoV:*

By 10 weeks I had started to show and my belly was a little bigger than before. Theo said to us our due date was around March next year and it was just a count down until then.
Last night, Harry and I looked through Pinterest for ideas for the nursery before going to sleep. We hadn't settled on anything though.

I had stayed up most of that night staring at the ceiling. Harry snored softly beside me while he slept whereas I couldn't. My head was swarmed with too many thoughts I couldn't just simply rid of.

"There are no faults yet."

"Yet,"

The doctor clearly clarified that it's close to being nowhere near apparent but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. What if my baby was the one out of the slim chances of being ill, having a deformity. Being born ill.
It terrified me at the thought that the child growing inside me, my baby, could end up a miscarriage or even worse ... a stillborn.

My eyes filled with tears as I imagined the nightmare becoming a reality.

"H-harry," I whimpered, shaking his arm subtly. "Harry,"

"What's up Baby," He groaned softly and hastily heaving himself from the mattress.
I clung to him almost immediately, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Hey, what's happened," He cooed, settling his head on my shoulder, nestling his face in my hair. An arm rested loosely on my waist and the other cupped my cheek to look at him.
"Calm down, baby, tell me what's wrong,"

I took a few deep breathes with him before calming enough to talk.
"I'm so scared, Harry," I whispered, my lip trembling.

"Why?" He asked smoothly. "Is it about the baby?"

I nodded as tears streamed down my cheeks. Harry frowned and his brows pulled together, he pulled me into a hug and laid down with me still in his arms. He pulled the cover over us both.
"I know, Darlin' but everything will be fine. Our baby is going to be ok. We will think of solutions. We won't let the worry control us. We won't let the stress levels break us because it will be alright. Don't quit on our family, Baby,"

"I won't," I sobbed.
He didn't say much after that, he simply held me in his arms and let me cry it all out.

"Who hurt you, Darlin?"He asked, threading his fingers in my hair.

"Who hasn't?" I replied before slowly drifting to sleep.

*Harry's PoV:*

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Who hasn't?"

Her final words before she passed simply floating around in my mind since I woke up with her in my arms, each time it fronted my mind I got just as pissed and my heart splintered a little.

Who hasn't?

Who in there right would chose to hurt someone like that, tear them down. Leah of all people, the most undeniably attractive person I've met in my days, in every sense in the world. She's sassy and confident, doesn't necessarily matter who she's with. She stands up for herself a lot of the time and definitely won't take shit from someone. The lass makes herself stand out in the best of ways even when it's on accident. Like with Niall and Levi. Both times she snogged my face off in front of them just to prove she was taken; not complaining but she's got the insane fire inside her which is unbelievably enticing. I understand how I was one of those people that made a fool of her in which I deeply regret, but I love the woman. She's going to be the mother of my child ... which neither of us really didn't saw happening a year ago but here we are.

Leah is so unapologetically herself and doesn't realise it all because of other people's opinions. The way she laughs and her mannerisms are so unique to her but everyone just despised it ... because she's different? That just clearly proves how messed up society is now, the poor girl can't just be herself because of how self-aware she gets around others. The way she looks at her feet and her cheeks were pink every time I compliment her proves it never came easy for her. No one ever complimented her other than Oliver which must have really hurt. In school, I got it all the time because I was a popular fuckboy, probably evident to my massive ego back then. Leah got none of that; given I can tell she's glad about it but it stings her.
Not one boy ever liked her in high school, or that I know of other than me. I did always have a thing for Leah. She was so quiet and innocent but I knew as soon as I said anything it would all have changed. She would've thrown herself at me because she'd been so deprived of touch then all of those negative names would've gotten worse. Slut, whore, slag, prude...
God knows what that would have done to her; she was crippled enough as it was so I could only imagine how quickly her mental health could have gone so downhill.
Cutting into her skin until the final straw was drawn and-

I cleared my thoughts as quickly as I could knowing the rest of that sentence. Thinking about her state in school really tugged on my heartstrings ... I know full well her parents don't have donkey clue what went through her head at 13-17.

Leah layed in a fetus like position in my arms, though she had the rest of the bed. She normally spread herself across the entire thing, something was wrong, blatantly. Ever since she told me she was pregnant she just hadn't felt or even seemed herself. She can't have been lying since the ultrasound proved otherwise.

+

Leah soon woke after a while of me indulged in my thoughts.

"Hiya, Baby. You feeling better?" I asked softly, tracing circles on her back.

"Yeah..."
She trailed off a little, zoning back into her own little world. She seemed to do that often... drift into that mind of hers and not come back down to earth for a while. Sometimes I left her to it but like now, something seemed off for her to stay there for too long.

"You've gone again," I stated, cupping her face. "I know something is going on, Baby. What's wrong?"
She stared back into my eyes and seemed hopeless. When we looked through all the things we needed for our baby her anxiety shot through the roof and it was so obvious, I just decided to see how she'd cope: and it's clearly not going well.
Her head must be overloading on this we need to do and the amount we need to spend.

"I'm scared you're gonna leave..." She finally said.
My heart sank to the pit on my stomach and my jaw hung low.

"Wha- Why? What on earth made you think I'd leave... ever?"

"You- I... I was just so sure that you weren't ready to be a parent because if I'm completely honest... I'm not. I know I'm 21 and now is supposedly the age where you start to the of kids, marriage and whatnot."
I could see her lip begin to tremble but she did well in keeping the tears back.
"I've tried so hard to end up like my... my mum. She says my brother was a blessing and she loves him. She does love him of course she does, but she and the rest of us know he derailed my mum's life. Though she never had a specific dream as such but if she did it wasn't like she could pursue it."
She let out a hefty say and sat up.
"I've wanted to be an actress all my life but how am I going to get cast if I'm pregnant? How am I going to make us money I'm pregnant? I don't want it to just be you doing everything for me because that just isn't fair-"

"Leah. Listen to me. Whether you get a job or not I honestly couldn't give two shits about paying for everything. I will love this child with everything I have till the day I die, no word of a lie. What kind of dad would I be if I just left you to it all. To pay for everything, have the baby and raise it all on your own. One like mine... So I promise you now,"
I took her hands into mine and fiddled with the ring on her finger.
"I promise you I will never leave. Not today or tomorrow nor any day after because I love you and would never disappear from your life; especially my child's. You hear me?"

Leah sighed and hung her head low, nodding.
"Yeah... I'm sorry-"

"Enough of that, c'mere,"
I pulled her back into my arms and held her as close as I could.
"I love you, Leah,"

"I love you too, Hazza,"