Always & Forever

Chapter 24, "Break"

Jayda's POV

the next day....

It was really hard for me to go to sleep last night and I basically cried the whole time. I kept rubbing my ring finger due to it being so bare now. I've never taken my ring off before. Are we over?

Today I decided it was a good time as any to go to the doctor's office and see how far along I am. I didn't want to do this alone, but obviously I have no choice. I was meeting with Dr. Avery again because I trust her more than any other doctor.

I felt so sluggish walking around. I took cold showers just letting the water hit my face and barely ate anything. I know that isn't okay, but I couldn't bring myself to keep anything down at this point. I miss him. I feel like there's this big whole in my heart and I don't know what to do with it.

I just want him to come back to me. I need him to. Whatever. I'm done thinking about it. Even though I'm hurting I have to stay strong. I put on some sweatpants and hopped into my car. I drove in silence all the way to the hospital. I hate hospitals. There has literally only been one good thing that has come out of these hospital visits and that would be my angels. Oh how I've missed them.

I pulled into the hospital signing in for my appointment with Dr. Avery.

"Jayda!" she greeted me.

"Hello Dr. Avery. How have you been?" I asked, giving her a hug.

"I've been good and yourself? Where's Harry?"

"Umm...he couldn't make it." I lied.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Ready for round two?"

"I should be asking you that." she laughed.

She walked with me to the same room as last time.

"Okay. You know the drill." she smiled.

"That I do," I said, removing my sweats and lifting my shirt.

"You planning on finding out the sex this time?"

"Actually yes. I waited with Hannah and Hendrix, so I think I should be able to know this one."

She covered my lower stomach with the clear gel beginning to maneuver it side to side.

"So from what I can see here, you are 5 weeks in. We will find out the gender in about 7 more weeks. You're all done ma'am."

"Thanks Dr. Avery. You are very much appreciated."

"No problem. Would you like a picture?"

"You bet."

I finished dressing and putting on clothes and walked to my car. Suddenly, I got a text message. Kara. Oh no.

Kara: Jayda, I just found out what happened. First off, congrats. Secondly, come home please. I was really looking forward to seeing you when I arrived.

She sent a few other texts and basically just spammed my phone.

I didn't even know how to respond, so I didn't.  Instead, I drove back to my hotel room. I just want to be alone right now.

the next day....

I woke up in the afternoon time. I realized I didn't eat anything at all yesterday, so I just ordered some pizza for the day. I distracted myself with a bunch of work to get my mind off of everything, plus if I didn't do this, I would constantly be checking my phone to see where the pizza was.

Somehow, I finished all my work so now it was just my pizza and I. I tried to binge watch tv, but then shows was making me mad so I stopped. Uhhhh. Boredom. After a few minutes of me just staring at the wall, my phone went off. I looked over to find a message from.....Harry?

Husbo: Jayda please come home. I'm worried about you. We can talk it out. I promise I'm ready. Please....just come home.

Oh now he's ready. So, he just expects me to move on his time? When I was ready, ain't nobody wanted to talk to me. Harry doesn't even know I went back home. He doesn't know I spoke to my dad and he doesn't know about Nick. All things I wanted to share with him, maybe skipping out that Nick part.

I flopped back on the bed not knowing what to do. I wanted to go home more than anything, but I don't know if I'm ready to forgive Harry just yet. Maybe space is good for a little while. Maybe if I go and just hear him out.....Nope. He's not winning me over that quickly. It's too easy for him. I need him to know that I'm not playing this time.

After obsessing over my options a bit more, I drifted off to sleep for the rest of the day.

2 days later...

I haven't been on my phone for the last two days which was really relaxing. I went to the spa, got my nails done, got my hair done, and just rested. It was nice taking a break, but I knew one day I was going to have to face my demons one way or another. My phone has been completely shut off, so I have no idea who has contacted me or not.

I turned on my phone to find many miss calls, texts, and emails. Calls and texts from the whole group and emails from my work mostly just congratulating me or asking stupid questions. I packed my things and signed out of my hotel. I loaded everything into the car and took a deep mental breath before pushing the gas.

30 minutes later...

I was sitting outside the house not sure if I should go in or not. Fuck it. Let's just get his over with. I kept my bags in the car and walked to the front door. It was afternoon so I pretty much expected everyone to be up. I unlocked the door and stepped inside to find an empty living room. The house was really quite. I walked around before stopping at the backyard doors where I found everyone.

The kids were playing and the adults were having some type of serious conversation. I wore some simple light blue ripped skinny jeans, black Vans, and a black blouse. Just because I feel horrible doesn't mean I have to necessarily look the part. I hesitantly opened the backyard door and stepped outside.

"Mommy!" Hannah and Hendrix yelled, running up to hug me as everyone quickly turned their heads.

"Hey loves how are you?" I asked, ignoring the surprised faces.

"Good. We've missed you. Where'd you go?" Hannah asked.

"Let's just say I took a mini vacation from reality." I smiled, hugging them lovingly.

I ushered them to go back to their playing so I could have a chat with everyone else.

"Jayda. I was worried about you. Are you okay?" Kara asked, giving me a hug.

"I'm fine. I'm just glad to see you're okay," I smiled.

Her eyes trailed down to my ring finger where there once was a wedding ring. Her eyes saddened, but she decided not to say anything. Zayn was next to give me a hug followed by the rest of the boys and girls. My eyes met with Harry as he just stood there. He looked like he hasn't gotten much sleep.

"Can we talk?" he said softly.

"Yeah," I sighed, not ready for what was about to come next.