Always & Forever

Chapter 52, "Merry Christmas'

Jayda's POV

the day before...

"Kara what's going on? Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Knees just got weak that's all." she laughed.

"Kara it's not funny. Do I need to take you to the hospital?" Zayn asked.

"No. No hospital please. I'm fine guys. Can we just celebrate the fact that we're having a boy please?"

"Only if you're sure you're okay." Harry said.

"Positive."

"Shall we take a joyride?" Zayn suggested.

And with that, the two of them were out of here. I was honestly so happy for them, but for some reason my body would just not allow me too.

"You okay?" Harry whispered.

"Yeah."

"Jayda you're shaking."

I looked down at my hands and sure enough, I was shaking. Why though?

"Oh. Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Just tell me what you need."

"Can we....can we go inside please. I don't-"

"Yeah. Let's go."

The boys watched me carefully as we entered back through the house. Amelia offered to tuck the kids in for me and I thanked her.

"You alright love?" Louis asked.

"I'm fine. I just um...still have to get used to everything. Sorry if I ruined everything." I sighed.

"You didn't ruin anything Jayda. They're happy. You did that for them. You should be proud of yourself." Niall said.

"Thanks guys. I'm going to go to sleep if that's alright. I'll see everyone in the morning." I smiled.

"See you in the morning." Louis said, returning the smile and hugging me as well as everyone else.

I walked to the room and Harry followed after me.

"You need anything from me?" he asked worriedly.

I turned around and placed my arms around Harry's shoulders, pulling him into a hug as my head laid in the space of his neck. I stood on my toes still shaking. He wrapped his arms around my waist, frightening me a bit but it was just instinct. My breathing began to calm as well as my shaking all due to Harry's touch.

I'm sure this shocked him just as much as myself because we haven't done anything intimate since everything happened. Not even a kiss. He's been so patient with me and I think it's time I at least try to match his effort.

I moved my hands to his cheeks and looked him in the eyes and anticipated my next move. I gently pressed our lips together and tears just came rolling down.

"Jayda. You don't have to do anything for me." he said, stopping me and wiping my tears.

"It's okay Harry. I'm okay. I just want to thank you that's all."

"You're pushing yourself. Look you're trembling."

Harry's POV

Of course I wanted her and I was happy she wanted me as well, but I don't want her forcing herself to do anything. I just want her to be okay.

"I'm not pushing myself. Harry look at me. I don't want to go all the way right now. I can admit that I'm not ready." she said. "I just want to get back used to your touch. That's all I promise."