This is literally such a filler, omg. Sorry there's not much dialogue, just as a heads up, but it's good background info for Harry :)
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January
Harry
It's somewhere in the middle of the morning when I finish up my jog, wiping my forehead on the back of my hand. It's a bit brisk outside, but the sun mixed with the exercise warms me up, almost too much so. I feel the sweat dripping down my back and face, causing my clothes and hair to stick to my damp skin. It irritates me, but at the same time I don't mind. I like exercise. It's a way to release pent up energy. I think I might sign up for a jujutsu class.
I came to Japan about three weeks ago, almost immediately after my fight with Amelia. I cried for about three days straight, especially after talking with Mitch. He had apparently spoken to Christian, who told him that Amelia wasn't doing well. I have a feeling Mitch wasn't telling me everything they talked about, but he did tell me that Amelia was diagnosed with depression and just needed some time to focus on her mental health alone.
I didn't like that idea, not at all. The thought of Amelia being by herself didn't sound like the smartest move in the world, but Mitch assured me that Christian would be there with her. It kind of annoyed me because I want to be the one to be there for her, but I also understand why she needs time away from me. It's not that she doesn't want me there, but she doesn't want the burden of a relationship right now.
The whole situation sucks, there's no denying that, but I'm not overly hurt about it. I was initially, but I've had time to think recently and I've come to terms with everything. It doesn't change how I feel about Amelia at all. I'll wait for her and when she's ready for me to come back, I'll be on the first flight home.
I haven't talked to her since our fight, but I text her every day that I love her and I call her periodically. She never answers, but Christian told me she's been getting the messages. He caught her multiple times reading all the texts I sent her or listening to my voicemails over and over. It made me feel somewhat better to know they brought her a little bit of comfort. Now I'm not as hesitant to text or call like I was in the beginning.
Christian keeps me updated on how Amelia is doing, though. Him and I text regularly and keep each other informed on what's going on. I could cry because of how grateful I am for him.
He thinks Amelia is doing somewhat better than she was. She was a wreck after our last phone call, not that I blame her. I was a fucking asshole to her and all because my drunk mind thought she might have wanted to leave me for Justin.
Fucking Justin, I think. Something about him gives me the creeps. I had a nightmare the other night that Amelia actually left me for him. I know she wouldn't. I might have said all those hurtful things to her, but I know that she loves me and only me. But that didn't stop the erratic thoughts running through my mind. I was in a panic at around 3 am and wound up writing a fucking song about it.
That's what I've been doing, recently. I came to Tokyo to get away from life and subsequently, I've been writing a lot of music, mainly about Amelia. So far they're all fucking sad songs about our relationship. I'm absolutely pathetic.
I sigh to myself as I unlock the front door of the house I'm renting. I definitely feel a lot better since I came to Japan. Mitch suggested I take a vacation to clear my head so I chose Tokyo. I've always found it beautiful and peaceful here. I thought it could be the perfect getaway.I was a little apprehensive about traveling by myself, but part of me enjoys it. It's liberating.
