Do y'all know that video of Harry being happily surprised when the whole crowd at one of his shows starts yelling "yeehaw" at him? That's how I feel whenever I log in to find everyone commenting "hey" or "hi" before they start reading lol I love it
TW - depression
...
April
Amelia
"So," my therapist, Maggie, says to me while she leas back in her chair and gives me a warm smile. "How have you been doing, Amelia?"
I shrug but manage to smile at her nonetheless.
"I've been...okay, actually. I think the combination of therapy and the medication I started has definitely been helping. I feel like I can think clearer. It doesn't feel impossible to take on the world now," I explain, all in one breath. I haven't seen her in a bit so it feels good to let it all out.
Maggie grins, genuinely happy with the progress I've made. It took a little bit but I slowly feel like myself again.
"I'm really glad to hear that. I was a little concerned when you cancelled our last couple sessions but it seems as if maybe you didn't even need them," she says, with a slight chuckle.
My face flushes. I don't know why I feel so shy about making progress. It's normal and something I should be proud of.
"Thanks," I mumble. "I didn't mean to just cancel. My boss had to keep me late because of the deadlines for my new book. I think I mentioned that to you previously, that it was finally getting published,"
Maggie nods and gives me a knowing smile.
"You did. You said it was in the process of being edited," Maggie says. She shifts in her seat and crosses one of her legs over the other. "You also mentioned how emotionally taxing it was for you to write. We've talked about the plot of it, if you will, quite a lot,"
That we have.
I was a bit hesitant to bring it up initially. I kind of skimmed over it the first couple times we talked about it but recently, I've been delving into it in full detail. It's been a lot to process on my own because of the content of what I'm writing about.
I haven't talked to anyone else about it, besides my boss and Maggie. I was going to talk to Christian or Melanie about it but I don't want to risk the information getting out. I trust them whole heartedly but recently a lot of my personal information has somehow been getting leaked to the media. I don't necessarily think it's Melanie or Christian selling my information, but it's made me a bit paranoid. It made me feel safer to keep it to myself, minus talking to my boss and Maggie about it.
Then there's Harry, though. Of course I trust him. I still do, even after everything we've been through. However, I decided to wait to tell him about my book until it's complete. It's supposed to be a surprise - one I'll admit I'm scared shitless about.
What if he doesn't like it?
What if he gets mad?
What if he doesn't want me to publish it?
He doesn't really have a say on that last part though, but I'd feel a lot better knowing he likes the book before I go ahead and share it with the world.
"Yeah it took a toll on me to put it all together. There was...a lot to write," I say, choosing my words carefully. "I think that was partially why I felt so out of it,"
