him. - an eren yeager fanfiction

00. the boy who broke your heart - prologue

"Fuck!" Y/N shouted after closing her door. Her day had already been shitty, and the conversation she'd had with her parents hadn't made it any better.

She looked over at her desk and laptop only to be swallowed by the fear of growing up. On top of working double her usual shifts at her retail job, applying for colleges, a bad break up, and having to move out soon, she felt like so much was happening. Sadly, all she felt she could do was procrastinate and groan about her worries.

Tossing her backpack and herself onto the bed, she pulled the phone out of her back pocket, starting to search for her sister's contact. After only two rings, she answered.

"How did you do it?" She quickly asked. Y/N felt as if her time was running out, and wanted advice as quickly as possible.

"Well, hello to you, too." Her sister giggled.

"Yeah, hi. Now answer the question, Viv."

An exasperated sigh left her sister's lips, this was a conversation they had every three days like clockwork. "Babe, stop procrastinating for one. It's astounding to me that you even completed your FAFSA* so quickly."

"Procrastination is the only way I know how to live! High school was never this demanding..." Y/N grumbled.

"Look, you're going through a lot! Give yourself a small break. Are mom and dad still keen on forcing you to be independent?" Viviana asked, knowing how difficult their parents were. She'd been forced out of the house the week after her graduation, but besides constant uncertainty, she had to admit being forced to grow up wasn't all that bad.

Viviana knew her sister was much different than her though. The slightest problems would arise and she would run the other way. It's been that way since they were young. Viv chuckled at the thought of her sister's cowardice.

"Of course they are! They have such high hopes for me and won't even help me out or cut me some slack! And my boss had a kid so I have to work double, the very idea of college scares me, and Eren..." Y/N heard her voice trail off after saying his name and it made her feel pathetic. To think that the name that brought her so much joy, would only later cause pain.

The silence on the other end spoke for itself until Viviana broke it. "...That's the first time you've said his name since it happened."

"Forget I even said it," Y/N whispered. After clearing her throat she found the courage to speak again. "Are you still coming over for dinner?"

"On my way right now!" Viviana cheered, almost singing into the phone. "And I packed a bag. Tonight we're going to get your life on track, eat ice cream, and curse that damned boy."

Y/N giggled at how aggressive her sweet sister's voice sounded towards the end of the statement. They quickly said their goodbyes and Y/N found herself in silence again.

The choice between crying and sleeping seemed difficult until Y/N's body reminded her of how truly exhausted she was. Her eyes had just begun to shut before she heard her mother shouting her name, asking for assistance with dinner.

—
After a dinner that was both delicious and exhausting, Y/N and Viv made their way to Y/N's room. Viv hadn't been home for about a month, so she'd already had her room turned into a guest bedroom by her parents.

Between the petty arguments between Viviana and her parents and the lectures that  Y/N received about growing up, dinner had taken a toll on both of the sisters.

As soon as Y/N's door shut, they both groaned. "I keep telling myself they only want what's best for us, but that pressure is way too much." Viviana sighed.

"At least you're already where they want you to be. I don't even want to think about college." Y/N replied, returning her sister's sigh.

"Well," Viviana exclaimed with a clap. "Get ready to! Because we are about to apply to so many damned colleges, your brain's gonna hurt." She gave Y/N's shoulders a comforting squeeze and sped over her desk.

Y/N chuckled slightly and followed behind her sister. Viviana's confidence was something Y/N envied but knew she could never muster.

—

After applying to five colleges that didn't require too much effort on Y/N's part, the sisters lay in Y/N's bed with a bowl of popcorn and ice cream as promised.

Y/N tried to focus on the snacks at hand but she knew what was coming. A painful and probably long conversation about him.

"Spill," was all Viviana said, while stuffing popcorn in her mouth.

With a long sigh, Y/N geared up to have her first conversation about him. She'd managed to avoid having to recap her pain with just about everyone in her life. But Viviana knew how to get what she wanted, there was no way out of this one.

"I mean what's there to say? He cheated." Y/N whispered. The food was no longer appealing to her as her emotions clouded her mind.

"There's a lot to say with just that statement. Like he's a piece of–"

"But is he?" Y/N interrupted Viviana's impending rant. Despite the fact she had her own choice words for the boy that broke her heart, it hurt to hear all the bad things people had to say about him.

"N/N*, yes he is!" Viviana shoved her hand aggressively into the popcorn, spilling crumbs on Y/N's comforter as she munched angrily. "If there's a reason you think he's not, you better tell me before I burn down his house."

There were many reasons Y/N felt that Eren wasn't a bad person, and she furrowed her brows as she thought of them.

He made her love the body she was in, which she once loathed. He was her rock through fights with her parents and uncertainty of her future. He made her smile when she thought it was impossible. He urged her to get better in every way. And there were other things—so many other things— but Y/N found herself frowning because all of it should be expected of everyone's romantic partners. Her reasons weren't special because he did or said them, but at the same time, that was the very reason they were so incredible. Because it was him and no one else.

Viviana paused her snacking as she watched her beautiful little sister lost in thought over a boy. As if she were reading Y/N's mind, she whispered, "Because he's just... him."

Y/N snapped her head up to look at her sister, surprising herself once she felt tears threaten to spill over onto her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but the lump in her throat had taken hold of her vocal cords. Viviana shushed her sister by speaking first.

"I know how you feel. Trust me, but," Viviana grew wary of how she should word what she had to say. "Someone else is going to come along and do everything he once did and so much freaking more. Honestly, it might even hurt you to finally understand how— I don't know— basic his affection was."

Y/N took in a sharp breath, almost as if she were inhaling her sister's words. She knew all of it was true, but to hear it from someone you love hurt like a bitch.

Y/N collected the tears that finally spilled over her cheeks with the sleeve of her hoodie. "Do you want details?" She sniffed.

"Not tonight." Viviana shifted herself to hold her sister in a warm embrace. "Tonight you cry as much as you need to. We can talk about it in a week or even a month, but not tonight."

Y/N was grateful to her sister for giving her the pass she'd needed all along to finally let her emotions out. She clutched at her sister's shoulders as she let out everything she'd been holding on to for two weeks.

*FAFSA: Free Application for Federal Student Aid
I am American so I don't know much about other countries, and their college application processes! The FAFSA is something that is to be completed by everyone hoping to further their education via college/university in America for financial aid through college. Just wanted to provide this info for people who wouldn't know!

*N/N: nickname

hope you enjoyed! ~ ollie