him. - an eren yeager fanfiction

09. soft touches

Y/N sat with her feet tucked under a pillow, while Eren prepared her a cup of water that she had already denied multiple times.

She studied his apartment while she was alone. It looked a little different than the last time she was here. The walls that used to be white were now a dark blue color that complemented the dark oak wood floors. Most of the furniture was minimalistic but the T.V. stand had a picture of him when he was around nine or ten standing in between his mother and father. Y/N felt a tug in her heart when she remembered the tears he shed over the loss of his mother.

"Here you go, baby," Eren placed her water on the coffee table before sitting behind her and rubbing her back soothingly. "Are you ready to talk about what happened?"

"I didn't come here to talk about it," Y/N whispered, leaning into his touch.

Eren chuckled slightly, not faltering his movements, "Then what did you come here for?" After a couple beats of silence, he laughed again, "I see, but I'm not going to do whatever you want me to."

"Why not?" Y/N asked turning towards him.

He placed a small peck on her nose. "That's a bad habit that we both share; seeking comfort in the most illogical places."

Y/N's shoulders slumped. Of course he knew why she would show up at his apartment. "Does Levi still own this place?" she wondered aloud, trying to change the subject.

"No, he put the lease in my name a few months back. So what brought you here again?" He pulled Y/N to his chest, speaking into her hair.

Y/N sighed, "Just a dumb spat with a friend."

Eren let out another chuckle, "That is most definitely not enough to bring you knocking at my door, but if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Y/N asked hesitantly. She was partially ashamed about how adamant she was being to get what she wanted and partially pleasantly shocked by her confidence.

"On a scale of one to ten, tell me how good of an idea that would be."

"A three, at best," Y/N admitted sadly.

Eren sighed, "Then I'm going to say no. I don't want to lose you again, especially not to resentment."

Y/N was surprised to hear him letting her in so easily. "Who said you had me to begin with?"

"You're here now, aren't you?" he joked softly, breathing in Y/N's scent.

"Will you at least feed me then?" Y/N asked, snuggling into his arms.

"Pizza and T.V.?" he asked, and Y/N nodded in agreement, "but promise me, you can be content with soft touches and kisses tonight. I am trying so hard to control myself, so I can get what I want."

"And what do you want?" Y/N asked. She knew what he wanted, but hearing him say it always felt good. She only felt bad that she wasn't ready to give him what he wanted.

"For you to admit that you want me back."

Y/N smiled for a moment before remembering Eren's earlier texts. "What happened with Mikasa?" she asked pulling herself away from Eren to look at him.

"Are you up to talk about it? You were crying earlier..." His voice was filled with concern and it warmed Y/N's heart that he was being so protective of her feelings.

"I was mostly just crying over frustration. You can tell me."

Eren sighed before speaking, "Well, first of all, I didn't really have to reach out to her because she showed up here. I don't like Mikasa in any way, but I do care about her. She was an absolute mess, Y/N." he smiled apologetically before continuing, "I know this puts you in a really weird position, I'm sorry."

Y/N didn't necessarily like that Mikasa was in the picture, but Jean was also there, so she had no room to be uncomfortable or judge him. At least, he was being honest. "Don't apologize," she whispered, "keep going."

"She was mostly just angry with me. Claiming I left her for you and telling me if I wanted the relationship to work, that I would end whatever it is I have with you." Eren studied Y/N's reactions carefully deciding what to say. Mikasa had let out a few choice words about Y/N in their earlier conversations that he was purposefully avoiding repeating. "I asked her why she came to you. She called it "scouting the competition"."

—

Y/N trudged sadly down the hallway of her dorm. She made good on her promise to behave at Eren's and he really did only reward her kisses and soft touches. With Mikasa being fucking weird and Jean being an asshole, Y/N really wished more had happened. Not the way I expected the night to go, she thought sadly.

As she got closer to her room, she realized there was an envelope in front of the door. The envelope was addressed to her. The handwriting that printed her name was sloppy and she immediately recognized it as Jean's.

She sighed as she opened her door not wasting a second when she was inside to tear the letter open. A key identical to hers fell out of the envelope and she left it on the ground as she read.

I figured you wouldn't respond or even read my texts if I sent them, so I decided to go old school.

Y/N could hear practically Jean's mellow laugh after the first line.

I'm sorry I acted the way I did today. I don't really have an explanation for myself. My mood has been all over the place since that last party, so I guess we can both figure out what that means. We probably shouldn't see each other for a while. Can we try to treat this like the other times one of us got jealous? I even figured out what that damn guy's name is. Somehow, I didn't think I went too far with just that and blew up on you today.

Y/N tried to ignore the fact that Jean now knew Eren but it was entirely too concerning. That would only spell trouble for her in the future.

You know I love you and I don't wanna hurt you in any way. I dropped my key to your room off so I wouldn't just come and go. If you ever want to, just give it back to me when you think we've had enough time away from each other. I'm really sorry, Y/N. Love you.

Y/N immediately pulled out her phone and decided to text Jean.

Y/N
I forgive you, idiot.

JEAN
:)

The quick response she'd gotten said a lot. She chuckled, imagining him pacing around his room damn-near ready to pull his hair out.

Y/N tossed the spare key and letter into her nightstand before dropping herself down on her pillow. She felt momentary bliss from her pillows and realizing Sasha wasn't home yet. She was happy she wouldn't have to find another lie to tell her best friend. She decided to send her a quick text before drifting off to sleep.

Y/N
bring home some of whatever you're eating!!

SAUSAGE
fine but you are absolutely going to
have to fight me for these leftovers...

fun fact: chapters 6-9 were all written within a 24 hour period lol and my ex called in the middle of me writing this. i stg no iphone update will ever compare to calls being at the top of the screen.
~ ollie