Caught In Your Chaos ✓

Chapter Forty-One

If you were a mere imagination of my mind, then why you not being around broke my heart. When all I ever wanted from you was your presence in my thoughts, then why did your smile flutter my heart, and your tears made it bleed.

After Jake left, I had no option but to regret asking him about the marks on his wrists. There could be a million possibilities. Being a storyteller, I could have settled for any of them in my head rather than indulging in reality. But somehow, it mattered, it mattered to the point that I could feel the sensation of those marks on my fingers. My approach was not correct. Instead of becoming all sherlock holmes, I could have waited for the right moment to dodge that question on him.

That night I slept with a heavy heart. Although Leah tried forcing me to have dinner, I couldn't make myself eat. I never felt that empty or isolated ever in my life. I woke up early, even without an alarm, spent half of the day in the cafe writing and the other half locked up in my room.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Leah asked me at night. The creases on her forehead reflected her concerns for me.

"Yeah, I am. Just feeling under the weather." I assured her with a 'don't ask anymore' look. Well! What was I supposed to say, that I am not because Jake asked me to stay away? The same reason she was crying a few days ago. Was that Karma? For being the world's worst roommate. 'Served you right bitch', my subconscious mocked me.

All this while I kept checking my phone time and again as if I was expecting someone's call or message. But my social media was dry, mostly because I couldn't see a certain someone dropping a post or something. I wasn't ready to attend the lectures the next day, but I had no choice but to set the alarm and drift off to dreamland.

The following morning I somehow managed to drag myself off the bed and dressed up. My face resembled autumn, and so did the weather as I walked down the hallway to my first class. To match all the gloominess around my existence, the first lecture of the day was Mathematics. I could care less if the ground cracked up into two and swallowed me in. I checked my watch while entering the hall; I was surprisingly early for the class. Praying that everything goes back to the way it was a week ago, I squeezed myself in the first row.

"Amy! You're early today," I cursed myself for expecting it to come from the vocal cord of a curly-haired guy. It was Elijah. He settled beside me in his usual energetic stance in a mustard cardigan and black jeans.

"Because I love maths," I mocked with a dry chuckle. Elijah repositioned his specs, giving me a questioning look. "What! can't a person be average in the subject they love?"

"They can, but you are below average," he laughed, throwing his hands in surrender.

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes and shifted them towards the entrance. The students swarmed into the theatre hall, filling up the empty seats, but my gaze was searching for Jake. I could feel my heart in my throat the moment his dark figure entered the room.

Jake strode to the seat behind me, passing by my side. The faint smell of his cologne lingered in the air around me. He looked fresh and charming in his tousled hair. The black hoodie he was wearing hid most of his skin and tattoos, although I could see his exposed forearms through the rolled-up sleeves. My mind once again drifted to the abrasions on his skin.

I think my gaze stayed on him a little too long as Jake coughed lightly without looking at me. That made me quickly look away. I embarrassed myself yet again, didn't I?

"Amy!" A known girly voice whispered behind me.

I turned my head back to check if I was hallucinating. But no, Leah was sitting beside Jake with that sweet smile of her. I looked at her dumbly as she waved at me enthusiastically. All I could do was give her an acknowledging nod. But the moment she scooted a bit closer to Jake's side, a fire erupted in the depths of my bones. Why was she suddenly sitting beside Jake? The question popped up in my head, but before I could open my mouth, Jake beat me to it.