twelve months ago;
my eyes flutter open and i realise that i'm in my bed, tucked under the blankets - away from the world around me. i must've fallen asleep and hero carried me to bed. i drag my eyelids open and i see hero's asleep beside me and my heart instantly warms, it's so comforting just to know he's asleep next to me.
i press on my apple watch and i come to the realisation that i have an appointment at the eating disorder clinic, to discuss my ECG heart scan and blood levels came back - and just how i feel generally. the appointment is around mid afternoon, 12:30, so i still have time to be in bed. i scoot over toward hero and he moves his arm holding my body close to his.
"morning" i hear him mumble, my heart still flutters at his sleepy voice.
"hey" i reply, closing my eyes - i might go back to sleep. i remind myself i need to stay awake so i can get things done before my appointment, i slowly move myself out of hero's arms and he whines.
"where are you goinggg" he groans, i chuckle.
"i have things to do" i tell him, climbing out of bed.
"can we talk about what happened yesterday?" hero sort of half asks half demands
i shake my head like a spoilt toddle and i walk to the bathroom. my face scrunches in the mirror, i look a mess. i brush through my hair and put it up into a bun so it's out of my way, i brush my teeth and do my skincare before heading downstairs. i fill the kettle up with water and put it on boil whilst i pick up the bowl and glass on the coffee table, i assume that hero ate last night - i wonder what he ate, hopefully the leftover lasagne. i place them in the dish washer and pour the boiling water into my mug. i take a seat on the seat that i usually sit on at the table and place my mug of hot tea in front of me. i plant my face in my hands and scrunch my face slightly as i yawn, i'm extremely exhausted and wish i could go back to bed.
i hear footsteps from afar but my eyes remain covered by my hands.
"i got out of bed" hero announces and i chuckle, he startled me slightly but the sound of his voice puts me at ease - i feel like nothing can hurt me whilst i'm around him. i really don't want to go to my hospital appointment but i have to.
"cmere" hero says, i look up and he has his arms out. i chuckle lightly and walk toward him, he wraps his arms around my waist and i feel at peace. i look up at him and stares down at me, his bottom lip between his teeth.
"i love you" i whisper, but loud enough for him to hear me. a small smile grows on his face, his dimples becoming visible.
"you are so perfect" hero tells me, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
"shut up" i reply playfully, scrunching my face.
"i need to get in the shower" i tell hero and he smirks
"can i join you?" i roll my eyes and i can't help but smile.
"i'll take that as a yes"
i head upstairs and turn on the shower to let the water warm up whilst i get my clothes out for the day. i walk into our closet and pick out a white sweatshirt with white sweatpants, i'll decide on my shoes after. i don't really want to wear anything too fancy, i toss my outfit onto our bed and go back into the bathroom. the warm steam from the shower fills the room and i feel at ease with the heat, it relaxes my muscles. i peel my clothes off my body and get into the shower, the warmth of the water against my skin feels so soothing and i feel like all the tension in my muscles has disappeared.
"hero are you coming?" i shout
"i'm here" he replies, his deep voice filling the room. he takes off his shorts and joins me, i tip toe slightly to try and pick up the shampoo bottle but i can't get it. i turn around and look at hero.
"you need the bottle?" he asks and i nod, he picks it off of the shelf and hands the bottle to me.
"wait gimme" hero says, taking the bottle from my hands
"uhm what"
"turn around" he tells me and i turn around my eyebrows furrow.
i feel his hands in my hair and i can't help but smile, i feel like the luckiest girl ever. as he massages the shampoo in my hair.
"thank you" i tell him and he chuckles lightly.
the strained muscles in my head seem to relax themselves as hero runs his fingers through my hair. he picks up the shower head and rinses the shampoo from my hair, i take a deep breath in and once he's done - i turn back around to face hero.
"thank you" i say to him, with a smile on my face.
-
i just got out of the hospital, my head feels like it's about to fucking drop off. i've been in that room for three hours, the waiting time in there is ridiculous. i head over to my car and buckle myself in, i can't wait to get home to my boyfriend.
-
as i unlock the door of the house, i am welcomed with the smell of hero cooking and the soft sound of the tv - playing peppa pig. i walk into the living room and jamie is sitting on the floor.
"hello!" i say with the biggest smile on my face: i'm so happy to see him, james jumps up from the floor and waddles toward me. i embrace him in a hug and kiss his chubby cheek. i put him back down onto the floor and walk to the kitchen, where hero's making food.
"guess who's home?" i say, with my hands cover hero's eyes. its actually quite a struggle, i'm on my tippy toes. hero turns around and i lose my strength to keep his eyes covered.
"mmm is it my favourite girl?" he says with a smile on his face.
"mmm maybe" i giggle like a child.
his hands go to my waist and he hugs me, i feel so safe once i am in his arms. after today i need it.
"how was it?" he asks and a huff leaves my mouth.
"i don't want to talk about it right now but i will tell you"
"okay, just remember i love you." he says, kissing my cheek.
"what's for dinner chef?"
"shepard's pie" he says and i nod.
god i love him so much.
